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New Beginnings

June 19, 2006

I’m sitting here in the early hours of Monday, June 19, 2006 typing this post as a
reflection on the past and on the future. 

When I embarked on my sabbatical from medical school nearly
nine months ago, I didn’t think that this day would ever arrive. The kr of
August 2005 believed that he would be caught in a space-time loophole, perhaps
something akin to Groundhog’s Day, and he would spend the rest of his days, happily
drunk on the vapors of studying sacred knowledge. Bah, I thought, June 2006 is
so far away, one doesn’t have to worry about such foolish things. I was too
busy enjoying the odyssey that comprised my past nine months, a journey of the
mind, body (man I drove a lot), and the spirit towards hopefully making this
ignorant fool into a wiser person. An alchemy of the soul, that’s what I was
hoping for, and while I certainly don’t feel any wiser or religious, perhaps
the effects of knowledge and companionship with the righteous will be like an
oasis of lush vegetation in the midst of a merciless, sand-beaten desert—beautiful
and “giving delight to the beholders (2:69)”. Or so one can hope.

The significance of dates is one that reverberates in our
lives. It is perhaps fitting—or even cosmically ironic—that I return to school
today on June 19th, a day that has far greater significance for me
personally. A decade ago today, I was at IIE, also finishing a sabbatical of
sorts. At 3:07 pm on that bright
Wednesday afternoon in June, Alhamdulillah, I finished reciting the last verses
of Surah al-Mursalat and completed my memorization of the Qur’an. When I started in the August of 1995, I could never have imagined that June 19, 1996 would herald such a beautiful end. And while
over the years, I’ve certainly failed to properly give the Qur’an its due, I’d
like to think that I’ve at least tried. Again, or so one can hope.

And thus today, while it is anticlimactic in terms of
signifying the end of my current sabbatical, it is still a day of great joy for
what transpired a decade ago. I feel thankful that Allah gave me that type of
ending to my time off ten years ago, and perhaps this ending now is also a
goodly one. Time will tell. What I’ve been able to accomplish this year is so
insignificant that it merits not its mention here, but is significant such that
I fervently hope that I not only maintain what I’ve learnt, but can also
continue to learn once I return to the mores of medical school. I think that’s what scares me the most, to get busy once again with academics and not have time for the things I did this past year.

But perhaps that’s the great secret of life—as the song goes—that
every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. And while the
previous beginning is now finished on this particular June 19th, and I feel a medley of emotions—fear,
dread, disgust, curiosity, remorse and a speck of joy—that only complicate this
ironic juxtaposition of beginnings and endings, perhaps the one solace that I
can have is that, Inshallah, “the end for you will be better than the
beginning.”

Strike that, it’s the only solace one can ever have. Hope. In
the Divine.

Here’s hoping that this beginning is the start of something
great.
 

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20 Comments
  1. hah i’m the first to comment. good post, i think we can all relate. good luck with school!

  2. Here’s hoping that this beginning is the start of something great.Instead of hoping, coulda made a du’aa, white boy.

  3. Anonymous permalink

    I feel like this should have started with “Dear Diary” and ended with “Your Best Friend, Kammikins.” Nerd.
    Just kidding. May Allah swt bless you with many happy beginnings that all end successfully.
    -Saima, and if Salman were here, he’d say the same thing. I think.

  4. Anonymous permalink

    Blah blah blah, you’re going back to med school, get over it.
    Ameen to Saima’s duas.

  5. get married…

  6. urghhhh and I thought the “new beginnings” title ment you got engaged or something……

  7. “And while the previous beginning is now finished on this particular June 19th, and I feel a medley of emotions—fear, dread, disgust, curiosity, remorse and a speck of joy—that only complicate this ironic juxtaposition of beginnings and endings, perhaps the one solace that I can have is that, Inshallah, “the end for you will be better than the beginning.” ” you are a homosexual. dont ever post shit like this again. fag.

  8. what falooda said…haha.

  9. MashAllah KR, 10 years already?
    How long has it been since you started copying Sudais?
    InshAllah, you’ll do great in med school bro

  10. I sincerely wish and pray that you be as successful and respected, as you are in the muslim community. You will do great Insha Allah. I miss reading your posts. I have so much catching up to do. You’re by far one of the best writers i have ever seen in my life masha Allah. Well, now you come to UIC for med school. If you’re on the West, then remember that you’re brother is on the South side of campus. Once you will be done teaching your night class, you definitely have to spend time with me Insha Allah.

  11. Mubarak KR saab, here’s to many more decades of you benefitting yourself and others (MashAllah) with your hifz.
    And yes, I too thought that you’d be announcing that you got engaged or something… lol

  12. everyone else: thank you for the kind wishes and the du’asfahad: go take the mcat.falooda: dont make me use my ammo to publicly humiliate you… you know what im talking about =)…omar and almusafir: good Lord no, this date is waaaay more important than anything of that sort =) it was, alhamdulillah, the greatest day of my life, and i dont think anything can ever top that date (though maybe the day that, inshallah, my children are born might top it…)

  13. Anonymous permalink

    wow…i dont know what to say…honestly…i mean im absolutley shocked…that you had a post…that took me less time to read…than a book…wow…in shock…yeah…wow…yeah…shocked…like celebrating eid on the same day as the rest of Chicago…that shocked ::insert shocked face::
    you and your damn “sabbatical”…im so glad that you’re done with it…that way i wont have to hear that word from you again…dork…although on a more serious note…i will miss seeing you at DQ every day…i mean when else can I make fun of you so well that sheikh amin even laughs at you…hehe (in case you dont remember im referring to the day you walked in with both feet bandaged and i offered to carry you to your car since you were waddling in slow motion and it seemed to be taking you forever to get out of the room)…hehe
    anyways you will dearly be missed my boy…dearly missed…and your comment on my xanga was stupid…dont make me show the whole world what a harami you really are…i have plenty of evidence my friend away messages AND videos…
    nigger-ul-haq

  14. Now that you are back in school, does that mean you will update more often ?

  15. what Hasan said.

  16. mubarak on hitting double digits for being hafiz, mashaAllah, that is awesome.  May Allah preserve His words in your heart and make you among those distinguished in this life and the next. ameen
    p.s. bite the bullet and quit complaining about med school. i may not be a doc or a doc-to-be, im sure there are plenty of ppl out there who wouldn’t mind being in your shoes.

  17. ameen to everyone’s dua’as…good luck on ur new journey…and lol to many of the comments written before mine (too lazy to write names)

  18. Anonymous permalink

    stop getting props for long novels!

  19. kattharallahu amthalakum

  20. wow, mashaAllah, mubarak.  ten years.  nice post.  inshaAllah may Allah (swt) make the road ahead as enjoyable and rewarding as the last chapter of your life.  ameen.  and hahaha, you have some funny commenters on your site.  props to them too.

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