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A Classic kr Post: Parody of “P.I.M.P”

April 9, 2006

kr’s note: This was a parody of Shaykh 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P” that I had originally posted more than two years ago. I was browsing through my old blurty.com journal entries and I re-encountered this amusing post. Anyway, since I’ve been extremely busy the past few days (and due to the incessant requests to update), I’m re-releasing this spoof post now. I’ll have something original in a few days… specifically, I need to finish my Hajj Memoirs. In the meantime, enjoy.

Originally posted on Saturday, January 3rd, 2004.

B.I.M.B
NOTE: since too many people have been asking what “BIMB” is, no, its
not short for bimbo… sheesh… its how an arab would say pimp, since
they cant say “p’s” properly… so stop asking already =).

Chorus:
I dont know what you heard about me
But you cant get no du’a outta me
Long beard and thobe that you can see
I’m a masjid-going B-I-M-B

Now shorty, she in the musalla, she qiyamin for sawaab
She got a thing for shawerma, that henna, and that new hijab
That ISNA, ICNA, CIOGC and that mawlana
She gives them halaqas and they pay her cause they wanna
I recite a little man, and my game got her
A year later, finally talk to her momma
Them desi playas try to talk sayin they like her game
I got her attention in the masjid parking lot by blastin the Shuraim
She like my style, she like my smile, she like my topee
She from the country, think she like me cause Im from IIE
I aint that bum tryin to holla cause I want your screen name
I’m that bum tryin to use my cousin to find your name
I could care less how she perform when she take the SAT
Sister hit that running track, catch fajr and dont get fat like a desi
Look baby, this is simple you can’t see
You engaged to me, you engaged to a B-I-M-B

[chorus]

Im bout my nafl you see, sister you cant holla at me
Talk to my parents you see, I’m a B-I-M-B
Not what you see at ISNA, no Accord, no MYC
Head full of Qur’an, sista im a B-I-M-B
Come to an IAW with me, if you curious to see
How it feels to be with a B-I-M-B
Roll in the Camry with me, we can crank some Hudaifi
From the backseat of my C, I’m a B-I-M-B
Sister, we could pop some mango shake and we could have iftar at the mall
Makin sure we get maghrib right after, sister we could have it all
We could really splurge girl, and tear up the mall
500 dollar credit limit, get yo’self a shawl
If you ever needed a speaker, I’m the one you should call
I’ll be there to back you up, any topic at all
If you got problems, I can solve em, make biryani and dhal
That fob your parents tryin to hook you up wit aint gots it
I’m your friend, your AIM buddy, and confidant, sis

[Chorus]

I told you fools before, I stay with a hoor
I keep a Corolla, some rims, cause I’m still poor
I lecture at the masjid till everyone’s confused
She got on Payless, me I got on Nike shoes
I’m shoppin for lamb qeemas, in the summer they cheaper
This parking spot in Devon you can have, when I’m done I ain’t gonna keep her
Man, Ramadans come and go, every Muslim oughta know
You saying it’s secret, but you ain’t gotta keep it on the low
Sista choose me, I’ll have you livin like a queen
I’ll work 80 hrs a week if you keep my house clean
Even if you cant cook we can eat some bread
And we can have some fun once we put our 9 kids to bed
Get your tasbeeh outta pocket, its time to make dhikr
Cause I might get laid off at work, I got fikr

[Chorus]

Yeah, in Devon they say there’s no qurma like gosh qurma
At IIE, they say there’s no qurma like sheer qurma
They say I lead taraweeh a lil fast, but if you listen a lil faster
I only slow down for you to catch up, SIS

edit, 8:05 pm: This is true. Ninjas killing people’s families is getting to be quite a problem.

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24 Comments
  1. Hahaha, nice parody.
    Hey guys, check what I found at Downtown Islamic Center’s website: http://dic-chicago.org/go/images/F000090/DIC-03312006-KamranRiaz.wav

  2. Assalamualaikum…
    hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha….oh man..thats is funny…i love the last verse…haha…
    good job…
    Allah Hafiz
    Wasalaam

  3. Mashallah.

  4. that was awesome!!!! i love how i can kind of sing along with the tune in my head but with your lines, because you have the same syllables and everything. awesome, just awesome.

  5. Anonymous permalink

    Noice

  6. Anonymous permalink

    Ok you’re not even going to believe this — Just 15 mins ago I heard this song and I remembered your parody of it and was telling people about it. Then I came here and saw this post. Weirddd…

  7. you’re welcome…Kammikins. :)I remember this. It is the good vhun.

  8. Wow, this is pure genius

  9. Anonymous permalink

    BOO the best parody by FAR was forgot about kr…ahem because of someone making a cameo…you should re-post THAT one…
    and that nigga is AWESOME…haha…
    nigger-ul-haq

  10. lmaooooooo…..i literally cracked up when i read some of those rhymes…lolz u wrote that? mashAllah. take care bro.salaam ❤

  11. ROFL, the funniest was:
    Sister, we could pop some mango shake and we could have iftar at the mallMakin sure we get maghrib right after, sister we could have it allWe could really splurge girl, and tear up the mall500 dollar credit limit, get yo’self a shawl

  12. “Sista choose me, I’ll have you livin like a queenI’ll work 80 hrs a week if you keep my house clean”-hahah
    Man, now I know what pickup lines imma use at ISNA =D
    dude the problem with your car is that your air vacuum indicator is jacked. So what happens is when you fill your car there is a constant amount of air and gasoline. When you fill up gas, the volume of air goes down. The problem with your car is that the idicator is jacked and only stops after 4 gallons are input into the tank

  13. lollll hilarious broo. i remember when i used to make up parodies like thattt. i feel like doing some more noww, he he . ok take care! wasalam.

  14. uhhhhhh….yeah, that black dude is funny. these 2 eprops are for him.

  15. haha…props for the black guy. that’s funny

  16. salaam, i wanted to thank you for the wonderful talk you gave at rush…i actually felt like studying afterwards.

  17. lol wth?

  18. man, this rocks, hehe. And I asked you something on a previous post…

  19. lol that was awesome..and major props for the kalloo

  20. haha, ur a nut dude.  haha… a funny one tho, i guess. 

  21. funnyy….time for the music video.

  22. Anonymous permalink

    props for creativity.
    at least now i know i gotta try harder to get a dua outta you, bimb.

  23. LOL….that was HILARIOUS

  24. Heh. I don’t know which song you’re parodying… so it’s waaayyy above my head.But I like the BIMB thingy. Reminds me of ‘Bebsi’. Tickled me pink to see it spelled in Arabic too. 😀

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