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A Letter From Shaytan

November 4, 2005

kr’s note: A special thanks to Ishiwud
for her constructive editing on the meter of the poem and some of the
word choices. Eid Mubarak to everyone. May Allah accept whatever
prayers, fasts, good deeds, and supplications we’ve
made this past month.  I hope this post keeps things in
perspective, post-Ramadan, Inshallah.

 

So I got this email from, well, apparently Iblis himself… I had to edit some of what he wrote… but, well… read on.

 

——————————————————————————–

From: Iblis@HizbulShaytan.com

To: kr156@comcast.net

Subject: Eid Mubarak kr!

 

Yo kr, what up son? How’s my favorite target—I mean, friend—doing?  I
see you’ve been pretty busy for a month being good and all. Whuptee
doo, so you managed to do a few fasts and do a few night prayers, eh?
You think you the man now, don’t you? All you believers, with your days
of mercy and days of forgiveness and days of freedom from the Fire.
Whuptee doo. You punks think you’ve undone what I’ve been doing to you
for years now? You bast–ds think you’re safe from me? Hahaha, you
actually did, didn’t you?

 

Listen punk, I will
bring you and all your little believing brothers and sisters down.
Laugh it up and enjoy. I didn’t waste my time last month. I plotted and
planned. I got some new tricks up my sleeve that I think you fools will
enjoy. I drafted some new personnel to help me out. Trust me sucka, I
will come at you and I will own you. You know you’re my favorite target
kr; it’s so easy to warm up on people like you and then move on to some
other stubborn people who can resist me more.

 

But listen, for old
times sake, and cause we’re pals, I wrote you a little poem. You’ll
find it below. Feel free to put it up on your little joke of a blog.

 

Alright, you ungrateful fu—s, I’m out, I better get to work.

 

Hatefully yours,

Iblis

 

P.S. The funny thing is you idiots know how to stop me… but you don’t.

 

 

I hate you fools so much it hurts inside

Did you think for a second you worthy of His Paradise?

Lemme tell you—you know jack ‘bout servin’ the Divine

Remember – I was the one drunk on heavenly wine

But it was all taken from me in the blink of an eye–

And when He chose you over me, I freakin’ wanted to die

You straight duped, see, cause all I do’s deceive and invite

And so stupidly, all you do is wait just to bite

You did real good last month son, but now baby I’m back

With a mission clear-cut to make your good deeds worth jack

For a month I just waited, biding for time

Free at last, I’m elated to make your a$$ mine

I’m hungry as hell, wanting to just whisper unseen

Just to revel in the sight of you fools slippin from the deen

I hate you all, and don’t tell me that you can’t even see

The mere fact that you exist disgusts the hell outta me

From day one, when I scoffed, and couldn’t even bow

So now I’m in this wretched state that I’m leadin’ right now.

I want nothin’ but you suckas straight sharin’ my pain

And nothing but seein your good go straight down the drain

And now the month’s over, son, you’s but a sittin’ ol’ duck

You think I care bout you fallin’?—You think I give a f—k?

Man I’m lovin that you worshippin’ a month—Ramadan

Cause now the time’s jus right for me to get my game on.

 

 

I hope you cap all yo’ prayer and forsake yo’ Qur’an

Cause you strapped wit dem weapons, those are your bombs

And I pray you don’t smile when you meet one another

Or go out of your way to honor your brother

And I yearn that you argue bout your damn fiqh issues

So I can mislead you real easy like I did to dem Jews

I wish you won’t drop down some cash to the miskeen

Yo homes, sit on yo’ wallet and forget dem yateem

I hope you don’t fill yo’ selves with pure samâhah

Instead, fill yo’ selves with ghil, bughd, and khiyânah.

Get tipsy on bukhl, ghadab, and of course batar

Get wasted on ghish, ghaflah and sakht al-qadr

I fear you’ll heed the words of your umm and abi–

I fear above all that you’ll love your Nabi:

I cringe when I think that if your hearts were filled

All my efforts and dreams would be quickly killed.

Damn, if you knew just what that love would spawn

 I’d have no hope, O ye who claim imân

 

Aight foo’, I’m out, there’s sh– to be done

You just sit there, laugh, and keep havin fun’

So eat, drink and bask in all your goddamn riches

But realize fast that I’m back, bit—es.

 

——————————————————————————————

 

 

**A note about the
profanity: consider the viewpoint of Iblîs, just coming out of prison,
fuming mad (no pun intended), full of hatred towards mankind,
especially the Muslims who have re-connected to their Lord during
Ramadan… ole boy’s super pissed. There’s more to this, but this is a
sufficient explanation.

 

Yateem – orphans

Miskeen—needy, destitute folk

Samaahah — tolerance, magnanimity, overlooking the deficiences of others.

Ghil – rancor, extreme anger, malice towards another person

Bughd – hatred or extreme dislike for a person, especially with no particular reason

Khiyânah – stealthy, treacherous, deceptive looks of the eyes towards others

Bukhl – miserliness

Ghadab – intense anger/wrath

Batar – wantonness,
unbridled desire to want and desire more, inability to bear blessings,
reckless extravagance, excessive mirth and exuberance.

Ghish – fraud, deception

Ghaflah—heedlessness

Sakht al-Qadr – displeasure in the Divine Decree

 

Nabi – The Prophet Muhammad (salallahu `alayhi wa sallam)

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41 Comments
  1. Anonymous permalink

    Hmm… sometimes i think you have too much time on your hand… but then my mind wanders away, and i loose the thought
    eid mubarak haramzadas

  2. Anonymous permalink

    HAHAHA lol@haramzadas
    i didnt read this post…but im sure it was good…
    iblis is gay
    nigger-ul-haq

  3. There’s a lot of insight into that poem that makes it awesome.You should have titled it, “When the minds of Ishiwud and KR unite.”

  4. nice…Eid Mubarak….from the language of that post…i could tell Shaytan has over taken you :)….btw…i like Iblis’s email addy….

  5. As salam alaikum:
    oh i like the email address too…as much as the poem and the letter were insightful…they were scary as well…iblis taking to somone is the eeriest feeling…inshaAllah may everyone be able to listen to their own will molded by the order of Allah and not to the shaytan. Ameen.
    Eid Mubarak
    Allah Hafiz

  6. Eid Mubarak
    Since when does Shaytan use Whuptee doo? hehe.

  7. salaam and eid mubarak.  NICE poem and email.  very good reminder… thanks.   nice polishing isra

  8. EID MUBARAK!!!!

  9. eid mubarak and nice post. thanks.  

  10. to complete the glossary, samahah = magnanimity, iman = faith, belief.wow, you and iblis must be real close if yall are on a first-name basis… man, i still gotta call him sir…eid sa’eed wasalaam,IJB

  11. Anonymous permalink

    Creativity is good KR.
    Props nigs

  12. Wow, this was amazing, MashAllah.
    Eid Mubarak, KR, great stuff.

  13. I liked how you went through each of the spiritual diseases
    Haha, and don’t think I didn’t notice your shot at the “fiqh” issues relating to your post about the “fatwah”…. good shot though, I completely agree.

  14. nice work. sends chills up the spine.

  15. Iblis is cuddly.  I like to pet him on the head and call him baby squirrel. 

  16. Nice post. The email and poem were awesome.

  17. Anonymous permalink

    Iblis talks like a kallu??
    As for the inappropriate language, it seems very similar to how many of the Muslim brothers speak nowadays. (It’s obviously wrong, nonetheless.)

  18. So eat, drink and bask in all your goddamn riches
    But realize fast that I’m back, bit—es.
    yesss! yesss! the last two lines really gave it that punch and made your whole point clear as a bell. best two lines of the whole poem! very clever idea, you did good bhai
    o.O
     

  19. so you know shaitan? nice job harami… nice post…you’re getting married soon don’t try too hard… use your looks rather than your brain…

  20. as sheikh abrar asked..why is shaitan speaking ebonics? why can’t he be chinese or mexican?
    kr156 IS a bad guy because he’s racist!
    jk. and eid mubarak

  21. Shaytan is a bitch…

  22. eid mubarak kr bhai. no bangalori biryani for me this year. 😦

  23. Assalam-U-Alaikum,
    MashahAllah, you are a very good writer…and its good to know that you are somewhat spreading da’awa using your writing….very nice post….
    Allah Hafiz
    Wasalaam
    Sarah

  24. lol….

  25. hehe.   great post.  eid mubarak!  hope you had a good one.

  26. rofl… dude, that poem was bada$$… scary thing is, it may actually be more authentic then one would hope…  😉
    salaamalaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatu.  Eid Mubarak Bro.

  27. i needed to read that man. i hate shaytaan =(

  28. its funny cuz it rhymes!!!

    “so you know shaitan? nice job harami… ”
    props to fahad… no i take that back.

  29. Anonymous permalink

    Mashallah that was powerful enough and simple enough for anyone to understand, very nice

  30. Anonymous permalink

    i never pictured Shaytaan as speaking gangsta’…
    he’s a bigger loser than i thought he was.

  31. asalamu alaikum kr…. Iblis sounds like a rap artist.  I wonder if that suggests something. I was just making an observation though.  Thanks for the warning..they should put that on cereal boxes, minus the profanities. Clever clever.
    Asalamu alaikum waramatullah and EID MUBARAKKKK.

  32. LOL…Eid Mubarak! Are you getting married?

  33. uhh, no, thank God.

  34. interesting to know u and shaytaan exchange love letters…hehe!  nice post!  u’re writing is just filled with perefection Masha Allah.  luv you always brother.

  35. oh  KR getting married??? he just started a new group called “say no to ugly hijaabis”….HAHAHA!

  36. shaytan is pretty messed up.

  37. shaytan is pretty messed up.

  38. that’s pretty slick.. from Iblis himself huh… ehm.

  39. Assalamualaikum,
              Awesome Post!!!! I think i heard u speak at UIC and IFS. I was jus going thru ppls’ sites and happened to find your. I dont think u kno me but i go to IFS. I heard about you from my Biology teacher, Saadia Siddiqui. Jus leavin sum Props.
    WaSaLaaM ALi Fiaz

  40. Anonymous permalink

    jerk… (shaytan)

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