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July 6, 2005

An Announcement and Riddles


Since Mawlana Nazim seems to have revived the riddle craze and I used to do the riddle thing back when I used to update my blurty, I’ll join in and leave some riddles as well.


Before that, I have a public service announcement. Seeing as how my boards are about 3 weeks away, it’s probably best if I stopped posting on xanga (I have one last post after this) for a while and concentrated on cramming. However, the monstrosity that is my xanga must continue, at least so that I have amusing material to read during my study breaks. Therefore, I’m offering a proposal for my readers to write guest columns which I will post during my absence. You can write whatever you want: religious posts, social commentary posts, satirical posts… heck, you can even pretend to be me and write a post saying “my name is Kamran. I suck.” The sky’s the limit, so let your imaginations run wild. I’ll even keep you anonymous if you want, but of course, I get the final say in what gets posted. If you’re interested in taking up this offer, email me with your entries and we’ll see what comes of this.


Now for the riddles… if you Google to get the answers, you’re a loser… so therefore I tried my best to make sure they’re not on Google.


1. The crowd in the tent gasped in horror when the music stopped and they saw a blindfolded man fall to his death. The man was murdered. How did it happen?


2. Mawlana Nazim (the crime-fighting cop) pulled up to the house of the suspected bank robber, PK Robberhouse. A bank robbery occurred earlier that day and a witness had identified PK (by his devilish good looks) as a participant. Mawlana Nazim got out of his car, ran quickly through the rain, and walked to the porch. PK answered the door and Mawlana Nazim questioned his whereabouts for the past two hours. “I was out doing MSA work for the upcoming barbecue (what a liar…),” replied PK. “I got home about 15 minutes ago. Lucky I did because my oil light came on a couple of miles from home. She’s leaking oil so bad that I can’t even drive her to the service station tomorrow.” Mawlana Nazim went outside and ran his hand along the gravel until he felt the puddle of warm oil under the car. The hood of PK’s car was also still warm to the touch. “Nice try”, said Mawlana Nazim, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to take you in for further questioning.” Why was Mawlana Nazim doubting PK’s story?


3. Fakhruddin Butt, a wealthy millionaire, lives alone in his mansion outside town. A recluse by nature, he has everything delivered to his house. The mailman was delivering his pension check on Friday when he noticed that the front door was ajar. Through the opening, he could see Fakhruddin’s body lying in a pool of dried blood. When kr arrived, he surveyed the scene. On the porch were two bottles of warm milk, two newspapers, a local hardware store catalogue, charity flyers, and unopened mail. The autopsy later confirmed that Fakhruddin Butt had been dead for several days. Who does kr suspect of foul play and why?


4. Alti was at Red Lobster and for some reason had ordered some soup instead of popcorn shrimp. He summoned the waiter and said, “There’s a fly in my soup, you idiot! I demand a new soup. And don’t try to fool me by removing the fly and returning the same bowl!” The waiter went to the kitchen, removed the fly, and returned the same bowl of soup, assuring Alti that it was a fresh one: “I’m sorry about that sir. See, it’s a new bowl and it’s steaming hot. Enjoy.” Minutes later, an enraged Alti called the waiter over and shouted, “How dare you try to fool me! This is the same bowl of soup.!” How did Alti know?


 

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37 Comments
  1. hmm… tent–>circus?, blindfold–> throwing knives at him to hit an apple on his head? the guy missed and killed him, when standing and you get stabbed you still fall (albeit not a very long way down if you’re kamran) (no i dont want kamran to get stabbed, astugfirullah, i love you kamran!!! 🙂 )
    -Mohd

  2. these are good.
    i think i might have the fourth one. either:1. the guy did something to the bowl before giving to the waiter
    2. the guy did something to the soup or spit something in the soup or put his own unique blend of masala in the soup or something before giving it to the waiter and tasted the same thing when it came back

  3. if the guy gets milk everyday, then i say the milkman. if the guy was dead for days why is the milkman leaving bottles of warm milk. doesnt he have to pick up the old milk first and take it away? where are all those other bottles?
    as for the first two….crap…theyre hard. i give up. going back to study.

  4. he probably doubted the story for the same reason anyone would, PK associates himself with the likes of Kamran Riaz, that automatically says something about his character and judgement…
    “scientifically” though i think because it was raining and the ground was cold, the rain was falling on the car as well, so there is no way the hood and the oil would still be that warm to the touch.
    -Mohd

  5. Anonymous permalink

    haha this is gettin crazy….
    1) i dono…
    2) if PK had gotten home 15 minutes ago his car and the oil would have cooled because it was raining?
    3)  kr suspects…the mailman!
    4)  it was alphabet soup…and alti ALWAYS orders popcorn shrimp….ALWAYS…
    nigger-ul-haq

  6. Use “mailto:kr156@comcast.net” as your email link not just kr156@comcast.net

  7. Salamaat.

  8. 1)he was choked
    2) i agree with mr. NUH, also if it was raining wouldn’t the puddle have been washed away by the rain, if it could be there, he would of found a trail of oil leading up to the car before he found the puddle itself.
    3) no clue, but i’m guessing its the mailman, but we can blame the paper boy too.
    4)there was probably a chip on the bowl.
    yea the last two are just guess

  9. hmm…the soup one,idea 1) i think it has something to do with the reheating process, the soup (if truly new) should look just like the first one he got, same texture, color, and temperature, including the temperature of the bowl. If it was reheated, then, these properties would likely be different, i don’t know, just a thought.
    idea 2) maybe the fly was doing a backstroke in the soup, and alti could still see the backstroke trail in the soup…
    idea 3) well we all know alti is a bit on they heavy side, this might be his M-O, go to red lobster, eat half a bowl, drop a fly in it, get another bowl, eat half of it, and then claim it’s the same bowl, get another bowl, eat half of it, flirt with the waitress, convince her to get him a refill on the soup, eat half of it…etc.

  10. Anonymous permalink

    i think this was a gay way for you to get free eprops…haha
    nigger-ul-haq

  11. oh, and your “women who cook and clean are my heroes” post wasn’t… right…
    i refuse to give the answers until the standard 50 eprop count is achieved…

  12. For such shameless eProp hunting I take mine away.

  13. salaamznice riddles, i’m always up for another post from kamran, here are my 2 eProps for you…RESPECT!

  14. Comment.

  15. Anonymous permalink

     Fakhruddin Butt
    lovely name choice buddy

    please dont tell me thats actually someone’s name

  16. Anonymous permalink

    i don’t get what red lobster has to do with it…

  17. red lobster has nothing to do with it… or maybe it does…

  18. Anonymous permalink

    asalamualaikum,well 1.the blindfolded man was being hung so that why he fell down dead. the music because i think they used to beat the drums or something back when they would be about to hang someone? i think i remember something about that during the reign of terror/ french rev time…2.there should have been a trail of oil leading up the driveway if the car was leaking oil so badly…3.whoever brought the local hardware store catalogue…why is that necessary for a rich recluse?? plus if he’s so rich, why is he in need of that pension? maybe they were ALLL in on it except the mailman…4. well alti definately definately put something in the soup so that he would recognize it when it came back…and getting soup at red lobster … whyyyy wuld someone do that when theres so much other better stuff????

  19. alright, good job with #4 guys… the answer i was looking for was that alti heavily seasoned his soup with salt and pepper so even though the waiter switched the actual bowls and heated it up, the soup itself was still the same. the “waited for a few minutes” means that the soup was too hot for alti to drink it right away, so he had to wait for it to cool, then taste it, then go ape at the waiter.
    keep working on the other ones

  20. Anonymous permalink

    how bout the riddle of which of kamrans neighbors peed in his bush…..

  21. For #1, was it a play or an opera?

  22. Answers please

  23. well if my throwing knives at the apple on the head theory isn’t right, then you can also say that the guy with the blindfold was on the tightrope and someone cut the tightrope and he fell to his death…

  24. alright, since #1 seems to be giving everyone the most confusion, and since we’re halfway at my demands… ill give you a clue… mohd’s theory of the tightrope acrobat isn’t wrong…

  25. well lots of ways to sabotage a tight-rope act, cmon, someone can have the rope be weak in the middle (cut it only a little in the middle), so when he reaches the middle and the weight is great, it breaks, you can tie the rope looser than usual at one end (the side opposite that he starts on), you can shoot the rope from far away while the music is loud, put some grease on the rope in the middle, since he’s blindfolded he can’t see it, even shooting a bebe pellet at his ear would do the job without much sound, soooooooooo many ways, and no i am not a professional killer so don’t even start accusing me of being shady (i’m just really intelligent due to my rooh-afza addiction).
    -Mohd

  26. i wanna know the answer to Iqs riddle. im putting my money on Buttface.

  27. Anonymous permalink

    can i just say that i thought this was 1 big riddle….man…
    good stuff.

  28. mode: nope, nope, and nope… read the question carefully. besides, i thought i sent one of my minions to convert you to the good side of the force and you embraced the joys and serenity of mango shake.

  29. ok tightrope blindfold riddle: hmmm, does it have something to do with the safety net? how about the music stopping, did the music having stopped early cause him to think he was done and dismount the rope and fall to his death?
    yeah well about your minion, i’m glad you used the word CON-vert, and not RE-vert, it shows you still have some sense left in your head, she basically converted me to mango shakes but it was because of her exquisite beauty and all i could think about was her beautiful face and drinking mango shakes with her forever, she had me at “salam, would you like a mango shake?”, but alas since im studying art her mother refused my proposals, she called me a waste of brown flesh and said i should come back when i come back to the real world and get into med school, anyway your girl married some doctor, now i hate my life, i hate her, and most of all, i hate mango shakes with a passion, whenever i see them it reminds me of her face, now i drown my sorrows in rooh-afza, and since we were all born in a state of fitrah (i.e. for a natural taste for rooh-afza), i would say I am a RE-vert, and I openly invite all of you to revert to your natural tastes, the ones you were born with, the taste for rooh-afza, before life in this duniya and your parents corrupt beliefs caused you to feel that drinking mango shakes was somehow a right and just way to satisfy one’s thirst, i don’t blame you kamran as much as I blame your parents for confusing you into thinking this disgraceful act is just and good. All I can do is pray for your guidance back onto the right path, the one that smells like fresh roses, the red and sticky path, the path that will stain your clothes really badly if you don’t hold the glass carefully.

  30. well the obvious answer is that I don’t use a car:  I fly people.  I have friggin superpowers.

  31. 2 props for the cool questions…. I’ll just exercise my patience and wait for the answers… I have an idea.. but still.Fakhruddin Butt is a real guy isn’t he.. when I read this I thought it was one of those “Seymore Butt” jokes.. but I recognized his name on one of the forums – he was asking if it was ok in Islam to change it. Innnteresting.tayyib, Jum3a Mubarak to all. Wasalaamu’alaykum warahmatulahee wabarakatuhu

  32. kr…will you friggen provide the answers to the lame riddles… :)…. answer to #4 was lame as heck…. waiting for the other ones…

  33. why’s everyone quitting…. where’s the heart…
    a winner never quits and a quitter never wins… my 6th grade social studies teacher used to tell us that everyday.
    keep trying.

  34. In trying your best to make sure the riddles can’t be googled, did you omit some some important detail for #3?#2…does it have something to do with the oil light?

  35. Why u try be black yo? Your the guy from the simpsons. welcome to thee quicky mart.

  36. my head hurts.

  37. Alti is so cute…sigh…

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