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July 1, 2005

Random Jokes

Hmm… maybe they’re not that random after all…

You might want to keep this in mind as you read the rest of this post:

If you cannot laugh at yourself, then be prepared for the world to laugh at you.”

Oh, and if anyone wants to post a few tasteful jokes/rips as “retaliation” in the comments section, feel free… but just don’t post 2 pages worth and hog up the comments page/chatterbox. Thanks a bunch.

1. A Pakistani dies and goes to hell (Okay, Inshallah this doesn’t happen to any Pakistani Muslim and we all go to Jannat al-Firdaws… this is a joke, so play along…). He finds that there is a different hell for each country. First he goes to the German hell and asks,”What do they do here?” He is told “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and he whips you for the rest of the day.” The Pakistani man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Pakistani hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, “What do they do there?” He is told “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Pakistani Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.” “But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are so many people waiting to get in?” Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails, and the devil is a Govt. servant, so he comes in, signs in the register and then goes to the canteen for the rest of the day…”

2. Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for 5 days?

 He was scheduled to take a urine test.

3. Did you hear about the shutdown of the National Library in Karachi?

Turns out that someone stole the book.

4. An American scientist, a Japanese scientist, and a Pakistani scientist are discussing their nation’s scientific capability. So the American says, “In our country there was this boy who lost his legs in an accident, and we put artificial ones, and today he’s an Olympic gold medalist!”  The Japanese guy laughs and says,  “This is nothing. In our nation there was this boy who lost his hands and legs in an accident and we put artifical ones, and today he’s an international karate champion!”  The Pakistani guy laughs and says,  “These are nothing, in our nation there was this boy who had no brains, and so we put a coconut in his head, and today ……he’s the ‘Military Ruler of Pakistan!”



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  1. haha good jokes man, but check it out :A Pakistani was sitting with an Indian and Malaysian in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of asudden Saudi police entered and arrested them. But, as it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:”I allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and thensaid: “Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.The Indian guy, watching the scene, said: “Please fix two pillows on my back”. But even two pillows could only take 10lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to Pakistani and said: “You are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes!””Thank you, Most Royal and Merciful Highness”, the Pakistani replies.”My first wish is: I would like to have 40 lashes.””If you so desire”, the Sheikh replies with questioning look on his face, “and your second wish?””Tie the Indian to my back”, the Pakistani answers.

  2. eh.. weak jokes..
    i did like Ali_Z’s joke though..
    i say 1 prop.

  3. hehehehe, ali’s joke was hilarious…
    shut up, pk weakhouse.

  4. Anonymous permalink

    haha alis joke was funny…kamran can i tie you to my back…then i’ll keep fallign down on my back until my mom tells me to stop…that’d would be fun to watch..hmm i could even make a movie of it and it’d be my next xanga post…shoo im comin ova tonight

  5. Anonymous permalink

    HAHAHAHAHA lol Ali_Z’s joke is HILARIOUS…hahahaha rofl…the jokes you had kinda sucked though….
    haha these props belong to Ali_Z…

  6. Anonymous permalink

    (Okay, Inshallah this doesn’t happen to any Pakistani Muslim and we all go to Jannat al-Firdaws… this is a joke, so play along…).
    Aww you have a heart šŸ™‚

  7. EHHHHH. this prop is for that beautiful watercolor calligraphy. and for finding it šŸ™‚ -IJB

  8. I don’t know what everyone else is talking about, the first joke was hilarious. The last one kind of sucked (because the George Bush version is much better).

  9. Anonymous permalink

    I like Ali_Z’s joke, and yours were pretty good too.

  10. haha i liked # 4 and # 2 also ALi’s joke was hilerous. haha.

  11. Anonymous permalink

    i don’t like nationalistic jokes.
    u gotta post jokes about rappers…like what did 50-cent say to his grandma? gee….you knit??
    ah…gotta love it.

  12. Anonymous permalink

    “What do you call a proud Pakistani?……Be-sharam (a shameless person).”
    (Reminder: Its a joke!)

  13. ummm abrar’s joke didnt make jack sense… ali’s joke was funny and kamran’s jokes were funny as well… although, he has to stop hating pakis so much…

  14. lol at Ali-Z’s joke…nice one bro…

  15. Anonymous permalink

    prolly the best post i’ve had time to read and eprop. ripping on paki’s is fun isnt it?

  16. Anonymous permalink

    haha nice

  17. KamKam, I know you secretly want to be Pakistani, and that’s why you keep on bashing us.  Its sad really.  But not everyone can be so lucky.  
    Ali_Z’s joke was the best though.  These eprops are for him and not you. 

  18. Anonymous permalink

    I re read the post and all the comments and never once did the post ask for everyone to rate the jokes, yet thats what everyone seems to be doing… wierd isnt it?

  19. i recieve props on your xanga……sweeeeeeet

  20. (Abrar’s joke made sense to me!)but the funniest joke so far in these posts and eprops has got be QueenRooji’s:”PAKISTAN ZINDABAD”HAHAHAHAHAHA, that is the funniest thing ive ever heard..cant stop laughing at that.

  21. Kamran’s real name is Kamran Sait Chaudhry and he’s a native of Sialkot, Punjab Province, Pakistan.Don’t deny who you are.

  22. sadiq: go pray 2 nafl and ask for God’s forgiveness for that comment. me a pakistani? ma`aadhallah….

  23. u were supposed to call back in an hour on Friday. i waited all night. thanks.

  24. I’m a native of Sialkot!

  25. Mohd, you are an absolute gadda šŸ˜‰

  26. hahaha….Ali’s joke was funny, even though i’m indian.

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