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June 10, 2005

Interesting People in the Life of kr, Episode 4 (Hasan the Icon)

Hmm, it’s been about two months since I’ve done the last installation of this series. For those of you who are new to the site, one of the running topics is a series of posts wherein I mention certain people who are in my life… for better or worse.

Today’s episode features not just an interesting person, but an icon of epic stature: M. Hasan Ali, MSA President of University of Chicago. He wanted to me to post his theme music, “Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta“… but I didn’t, so I guess you have to imagine it playing in the background as you’re reading this.


For those of you dont know Hasan (aka BigHaas, aka Daaahkness, aka the Don Ali of Hyde Park), you might want to read his last comment to my last post.


Anyway, so this guy’s been whining like a little girl to me to write a post about him for a while now and I’ve been meaning to get around to writing it, but I kept pushing it off for later. With the last of the rugrat undergrads finishing up this week, Hasan demanded that I put up this post before he goes to New York for the summer so that his stock doubles by the time he comes back for ISNA.

Princess Hasan sitting on his UofC MSA throne.

I first met Hasan last year at ISNA as we were both volunteering for the MSA conference. I had communicated with him a few times during the course of last summer in conference calls and such, and the thing that made me like him immediately was his passion for Madden. During the pre-ISNA prep, the sister who was the MSA conference chair stressed that everyone has to be on point, has to make sure they get enough sleep, etc. Hasan told her that he’s planning to bring his Playstation and Madden 2005 to play in the hotel room. She replied by bashing on Madden… ordinary little boys would have backed down from this gross abuse of power. But valiant Hasan saw that injustice anywhere is a crime against all of humanity. The words of John Donne–“therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee”–echoed in the vaults of his mind and he started a revolution against unjust authority, rallying myself and Hisham to his side, and saying that we all will walk out as chairs unless Madden is shown more respect. Now some people might have let this slide, or even might have been willing to compromise. Not Hasan; he remained resolute and firm, quoting Donne’s words after one conference call after the good name of Madden was horribly abused, and got the conference chair to recant her words and issue an email to the entire conference committee:


<<“I am saying these words with complete sobriety and full consciousness.
Furthermore, in anything that comes, no part is meant to be sarcastic or
humourous. Instead, these words, while not completely my own, encompass
the entirety of my feelings in regard to this issue from now and forever.
I have been misguided in my attacks on Madden 2005. I apologize to the
fullest extent my heart allows it. I weep over the wrong and hurtful
statements that I have uttered over the past days. Madden is an integeral
part of a person’s education and provides an unequaled service to
humanity. A spouse who does not recognize Maddens unparallel awesomeness
and gloriousness is in err. An err that is gross and absolutely repugnent.
It has indeed left a mark on this world that cannot be described in words,
or expressed by human emotion. I completely apologize to all of those who
i have hurt. Long live the Madden video game series, its founder and
patriarch: John Madden and the EA Sports Gaming division for producing,
and sustaining the institution.”>>

This is how Hasan felt after such a victory.

When ISNA arrived, I looked forward to meeting this William Wallace of our times. At the pre-conference meeting on Thursday night, I see this big hulking Nigerian-looking brother… imagine my suprise when he introduced himself as Hasan. I felt like Rick James and wanted to shout, ‘Daaahkness! Look everybody, daaaahkness is spreading!’. For those of you who are like, that’s so mean… relax, he knows we joke around with him like that and he’s secure with it. Too many people are way too serious these days; we need more Nu`aymans (radiallahu `anhu) in our community… and Hasan certainly fits the bill. Like I said, he’s secure with this good-natured bantering and bashing on one another. In fact, I even composed a short ode about the matter:

Hasan is MSA President
But all this is for naught
Cause everyone be callin him
Sayin, “Yo, what up raat?”

After ISNA, our friendship just skyrocketed, and I was impressed with his insights on various religious, social, and political matters. Maybe it was the UofC education (highly unlikely) or the fact that he’s a history major (more likely), but that deeply disturbed mind of his is also the home to some insightful, well-constructed, and powerful thoughts. A very sincere individual with much potential… think a young Anakin Skywalker. He’s paid my bill at Cedar’s many times as we’d often catch dinner there. Oh, and did I mention that he’s single…

As you might have gathered from my last post, I’m currently on the tail end of an AIM/visiting other people’s xangas fast. I must say that the first day was pretty difficult, but it’s gotten much easier yesterday and today. Hasan, on the other hand, was challenged to go on an AIM fast for a month and half back in March. That’s probably why he was such a spaz in his last comment–which had to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, for the record. The conditions of his challenge were such that if he won, the person whom he made this deal with had to make him dinner, clean his car, do his laundry, and get him Coldstone ice cream. Along the way, he was challenged and tempted. His opponent, after realizing imminent defeat, offered to buy him an xbox and 2 video games if he would lose the challenge.  Hasan, of course, being the beast that he is, didn’t back down–destiny called him collect, and he indeed accepted the charges. Princess Hasan won the bet and got his dinner… not too sure if he got the other items on that list, but the dinner he did get for sure. Some may say that the greatest human achievements of our generation are the quadriplegic man who climbed Mount Everest and other such feats; I would offer than any such discussion must include Hasan’s extraordinary achievement as well. It was because of this that he attained icon status.

Looks can be deceiving because Hasan has a sensitive side as well. He’s always asking people for hugs, whether it be in real life or online. When I went to a Bulls game with him a few months back, he wanted a hug then too, that big sissy:

Too bad the Knicks lost… hahaha.

Finally, I’d have to say that Hasan writes the best emails and IMs, hands down. His short one-line emails are more than enough to bring a smile to anyone’s face, no matter how crappy a day one might be having. Some examples include:

1. Hey kamran, do u like me?
If u don’t I think I will jump off the roof.

Let me know. yours is the only opinion that counts.


2. and yes! this is a prom damn you! you promised me a second date and u didnt
deliver! u think i am some floosy who just hops and skips to random people…i
am respectable damnit! i aint a floosy! i aint!

so…u are going then?
i aint a floosy. i aint.

3. k r 1 5 6 (12:16:15 PM): dont you have school
KingMo3 (12:16:21 PM): eh
KingMo3 (12:16:30 PM): when u are a beast like me, you dont need it
k r 1 5 6 (12:17:15 PM): youre such a self-proclaimer
KingMo3 (12:17:19 PM): i know
KingMo3 (12:17:21 PM): i am

Anyway, this post is coming to a long overdue end. I wanted to write a short post, but Hasan demanded that since I’ve written long posts in the past, he wants a really long post now. Besides, I was supposed to write this after he won the AIM challenge back in March, so he deserves the extra air time.

In conclusion, Hasan is a spoiled little rich girl who dresses like a prep high school kid trying to look like he’s not trying… but he’s a beast nonetheless. And a renegade, who’s never been afraid to say what’s on his mind, any given time of day… and I’m pretty honored to call him my boy.


From → Uncategorized

  1. Anonymous permalink

    *stands up and applauds*
    hasan is indeed a stud…i mean the knicks game said it all…the entire game…whether we were in row 100000 or row 10…we were going  YEAHHHH JAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAL….
    that might be one of the funnest nights ever…even if i got home like 2 hours late…
    hasan…you are the man…

  2. just to clarify…KR actually asked for that hug. u cant ask alti. its the absolute truth.
    and i am gangster. to anyone who doesnt recognize that i say: “f’ me ? f’ you!”
    and what KR forgot to mention is that i am the founding member of the NWA. I am not afraid to say anything to anyone.
    try me.

  3. what a nigger.

    too bad hasan declined my marriage proposal.. we would’ve had some insanely hot kids.

  4. in honor of hasan, here’s a quatrain: (i dont remember the original, so ima have to improv it again) -“andhera” dil ki dhoop hai aik saverajis par hasan ka roop dalta hai andherahai ru siyaah, yeh raat ka chehrazameen se liyaa, asmaan ka andherasummer stinks,IJB

  5. Anonymous permalink

    Somehow Hasan looks like a bigger sissy in that big ass chair. He showed me that pic once claiming he looked awesome in it. I humored him, he looks minute and lacking.

  6. Anonymous permalink

    lol its true…kamran did ask for that hug…
    ahhhh hahaha…hasan…F me? F YOU…lol….

  7. Anonymous permalink

    i want that chair in my room

  8. Anonymous permalink

    HAHA. youre faani.wasalaamuAlaikum

  9. I have to give u props for ur profile pic. Everytime I catch a glimpse of it, I can’t help but giggle.

  10. Dude, whats up with your profile pic?  I am not sure if that is healthy…
    Salaaam, refer to my comment on your last post for clarification… both of them LMAO.
    Almost forgot, Hasan is a sexy beast.

  11. to hisham: wow, is hisham saying that someone is more feminine than he is? i direct everyone to atherali’s ( to check out hisham reciting surah fatiha. close your eyes and tell me that’s not a girl reciting.
    to hasan: after dinner with you last night… wow, you actually might be just as big of a sissy as hisham. i feel like editing this post and letting everyone know who you REALLY are…
    to isra: haha, props on that urdu poem. i read it out loud like shaa’ir to my mom and she couldn’t stop laughing.
    to PK: if that’s what you looked like when you were a runt, wow… no matter who you marry, your kids are gonna be insanely hot if they inherit their looks from you. you stud you.
    to everyone else (bluejai7, zp, smile, etc): thanks, im glad this post was amusing. my profile pic too, everytime i see it… can’t help but laugh.
    to servant_of_Allah: thanks for the clarification =)

  12. i know.. my kids are going to be gorgeous inshaAllah.. just like my supermodel wife inshaAllahx100.

  13. pk….thats it….im putting nazar on you!!!! (nazar=hasad for the arabs)

  14. dude i already have nazar.. cant you tell how ugly i am now compared to my bab pics?

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