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May 5, 2005

From the Mouth of Mr. Webster:

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word joke as:

Main Entry: 1joke
Pronunciation: ‘jOk
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin jocus; perhaps akin to Old High German gehan to say, Sanskrit yAcati he asks
1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : KIDDING <can’t take a joke> c : PRACTICAL JOKE d : LAUGHINGSTOCK
2 : something not to be taken seriously : a trifling matter <consider his skiing a joke — Harold Callender> — often used in negative construction <it is no joke to be lost in the desert>



I always find it amazing that people who’ve never been to the site are always the ones that get ticked off with posts like the previous one. It’s as if they were given the link and came to the site only to see what the chaos was all about… and then decided to arrive to their conclusions–specifically, about how I’m such a horrible human being.


People have been asking me: Why did you post that?

To keep it simple:

1. The post was meant to be entertaining, nothing more.  If it wasn’t funny, then I apologize. But if you were offended by it, I dunno what to say. For anyone who truly thought that I hate  Pakistanis/Hydros (while nearly 80% of my friends fall under this denomination)… I don’t mean to be rude, but please grow up. It’s as if I built a sand castle and left it there for people to see… and then people get mad at me because they stubbed their toe on some glass bottle that was left by someone else in the sand. Let me be clear: it was not my intent to willfully hurt anyone (that first line was sarcastic… sheesh); therefore, if you got hurt, I’m sorry that you stubbed your toe, but I do not apologize for building the sand castle. I didn’t force anyone to view it–people willingly came and read it. If you didn’t like what you read (i.e., it wasn’t entertaining), instead of feeling that I’ve personally insulted you, please just hit the back button and continue with your day.

2. The post was also meant to be a commentary on racism within the desi Muslim community. There’s nothing wrong with loving your place of origin, but it’s reached ghastly levels in certain sectors. Only a few people–Imran in particular–were astute enough to figure this out. Specifically, he wrote:

“But about bangloris, we are the kallus of india. And we get treated as simpletons and blah blah blah in the desi community. Fine, maybe we are, but alhamdullilah maybe being a simpleton, a ni****-desi if u will, helped us see the uselessnes of this stupid unwarrented pride and arrogance. We’re the ones who are the bottom of the pole. And all I’ve seen over the years from pakis, hydros, and arabs is misplaced arrogance, pride, and oppression. Not just to bangloris or madrasis or gujuratis or yemenis or egyptians. Just to one another. And it’s sick and abhorrent. Ya’ll prolly don’t notice it, cuz you too busy fighting and getting pissed off at one another and putting others down, but it’s clear as day and night. And people who’ve espicially suffered for the deen know this. They’ll accept the shortcomings of pakis, hydros, and arabs. Their damned stubborness. Ya’ll better wake up.”

Yes, I poked fun at the idiosyncracies of Hydros and Pakistanis… but the underlying theme of benefit was to point out how these same peculiarities are used by Pakistanis and Hydros to look down on other desis, and how this inter-desi racism is tearing the community apart. Believe me, I’ve experienced first-hand this discrimination by Paki/Hydro Muslims… the most ridiculous being that I was not allowed to give khutbah at a certain nameless masjid since I wasn’t Pakistani or Hyderabadi. I know my speeches are broke, but come on… don’t use that as a reason. The post was meant to open our collective eyes on a serious problem.

3. The fact that I ended that post with a praise of Bangalore whereas earler in the post I bashed on the excessive praise that is heaped upon Pakistan and Hyderabad… that should’ve definitely clued even the most casual reader on the satirical nature of the post. For it would have been highly inconsistent of me to display the same qualities that I bashed… Anyway, I don’t care whether Pakistan, Hyderabad, Bangalore, wherever is great… any piece of land where even a single person remembers Allah is great in my books.

Finally, to help acquaint first-time readers (or to remind veteran readers) about the purpose of this website, I’ve created a disclaimer that one can access anytime by clicking on it in the box with the NFL logo.

PS. Abdul: Maybe one of these days I’ll explain my social experiment… dunno if people are ready to handle that.


From → Uncategorized

  1. Anonymous permalink

    haha…it’s 3:25 a.m…im tryin to finish this scientific paper on subcellular fractionation and differential centrifugation…yet i actually read your entire post…
    dawg…any bonehead who actually complained (and meant it) about the last post should be shot…im sorry…im sick of people complaining about xangas and was on there…if you dont like it…then dont read it…its plain and simple…
    thats like someone saying: I don’t agree with “naughty websites” yet I keep on going back to them…but I strongly condemn them…and the material is garbage….but I still go back…again…and again…
    hmmmm…i dono if that made any sense…if anything maybe you laughed?
    damn its late…NFL till i die!

  2. THE webster was black???? he was a cute little black kid!!!! awwwwww!!!
    oh my god!!! this changes everything…..

  3. Anonymous permalink

    Nigga that wasn’t offensive..Pakistanis are gay, and hydros are dark and skinny for no damn reason. you want something offensive say something like bLeeach all you is good for is cooking my dinner cleaning my A . P. T. and tying my shoes…Your attempt at offenseive material is weak…you used to be soo much better…at offending people 😦

  4. Anonymous permalink

    iz ogay.. you’re still cool… i guess

  5. I think you did a wonderful job in creating awareness about racism which is plaguing muslims. You remind me of Allama Iqbal who wrote a poem titled ‘shikwa’ (complaint) and the scholars were about to brand him a non-muslim because of all the complaints he wrote in it against allah and islam. Then he went on to write ‘jawabe shikwa’ (answer to the shikwa) in which he gave some really nice answers on why muslims have degenerated. He starts off the ‘jawabe shikwa’ with the beautiful words:dil say jo baat nikalti hay athar rakhti hay par nahee magar taqate parwaz zuroor rakhtee hayIn English that would be: what comes from the heart goes to the heart.In Arabic that would be: Allathee yakhrooju minal qalbi yasilu ilal qalbi.>>>>Anyway, I don’t care whether Pakistan, Hyderabad, Bangalore, wherever is great… any piece of land where even a single person remembers Allah is great in my books.

  6. what a fag
    k r 1 5 6 (1:28:46 AM): you should ignore itk r 1 5 6 (1:28:51 AM): that shows how much of a nigger you are
    you shoulda left it w/o an apology you flame.  no props.
    however.. one prop for having a nigga like iqureshi with his comment post on this site 🙂

  7. I love you KR.
    I want to have your children.  half paki – half banglori children.

  8. Anonymous permalink

    Funny how you always come out with a disclaimer. With the sincerity you show, one would think that you never expected controversy at all. You freaking “bad guy,” I know your plans real well…(people who want to take over the world tend to think alike…) 
    By the way…do I still get the hot Paki wife for saying “Pakistan Sucks”?

    Dang it I can’t wait any longer!

  9. I just wanted to clear something up.  I always read your posts.  I find them extremely entertaining and very smart.  I know that you like to poke fun at a lot of different things, and for the most part, I usually laugh along.  I totally enjoyed your WDT post, despite the fact that I’m a girl.  I can take a joke.  I just thought this past post was a little much.
    I’m at fault, because I don’t know you, at all.  I didn’t know you wouldn’t really say something like this because I don’t know what you’re really like.  Obviously, your xanga is not an accurate representation of who you are.  So I give you my sincerest apologies if I annoyed you with my comment.
    I’m sorry.

  10. Hey Assalamwalaikum, i found ur xanga from my gurl Farrah, i’m sure u kno her. but wow i jus wanted to comment on ur xanga. u def have sum good stuff. keep it up. tc, wasalamualaikum

  11. hehe but abt this last entry…hmmmm

  12. A few things things:
    1) I think Mallus are clearly the kulloos of India. Bangalore, to me, always seemed like Houston, but not Texas. I don’t like Bush.
    2) No matter what you write, no matter what you put up, you’ll still get visitors, you’ll still get 100 hits a day, and you’ll still get your beloved eProps and comments. The fact that people get peeved over these kinds of posts and go nuts on you makes your site even more visited and popular. For everyone who didn’t like the post, ignore it. Otherwise, Kamran wins.
    3) N.F.L. is gay. No insult to you guys (I love you all) just to the concept of your “organization”.
    4) I am tuna melt.

  13. Well done, KR, well done…but your assumption that people can understand your satiristic ways can somtimes be dangerous…maybe this will help them understand

  14. I’m also sorry if I offended anyone with my comment. I cannot bear to offend anyone, aside from Kamran of course.
    Forgive me Fair Queen!

  15. Anonymous permalink

    Hey, I found another definition of a joke online.  It is:
    Main Entry: 1joke Pronunciation: <TT>’jOkFunction: nounEtymology: Latin jocus; perhaps akin to Old High German gehan to say, Sanskrit yAcati he asks1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; DOES NOT WORK ON IDIOTS.
    I for one thought the post was hillarious and cant believe people actually took offense.

  16. webster rules.

  17. Anonymous permalink

    lol @ muaz.. aaah astaghfirullah dirty thoughts!!

  18. “Webster’s” Dictionary, you crack me up. Where’d you find that pic of Emanuelle Lewis?

  19. It’s by Ahmed Bukhatir : Last Breath. He is the greatest.

  20. salam
    1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; DOES NOT WORK ON IDIOTS. <<<< hahaha
    soo true.
    take careee /wsalam

  21. Anonymous permalink

    brother.. i feel you are trying to hard.. both to be “sarcastic” but then “nice” at the same thing.. its kind of sad but jazakAllah kheir

  22. let’s be clear: i didn’t apologize for the post. it was said in jest, and i stand by it.
    however, if someone got felt offended, then i feel bad for the fact that they got offended. hence the sand castle analogy. i dont apologize for the sand castle, but if someone stubbed their toe while walking in the sand to view the castle i built, then i sympathize.

  23. wow, you really are famous

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