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April 28, 2005

Which Doctor Do I Want To Be?

Before we get to that,  the video below is of a UC-Berkeley professor whose laptop was stolen. The professor took a few minutes after class to “call out” the criminal… and this is the video. Wow, just watching the video and I felt like I had stolen it. I’m glad I’m not the idiot who stole his laptop. It’s in mp4 format, so you’ll need Quicktime to view it. (edit: 8:08 AM: People have asked if they found the culprit and/or if they punished him yet. Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer(s) to that; I’ll google it later and see if anything comes up. Useless Sadiq doesnt know either.)

Thanks to Sadiq for this one
Best line: “…this man… young BOY… to federal prison… not a good place for a young boy to be…”


So I’ve been wondering lately: What kind of doctor do I want to be? No, not whether I want to go into surgery or be a real doctor–internal med; rather, what kind of personality do I want to have as a physician?

1. I must finally confess, after being silent for so long, that Dr. Sanjay Gupta, neurosurgeon and CNN medical anchor, is a freakin stud and my personal hero. I mean, the guy has great hair, an impeccable fashion sense, a killer smile, and he’s one of the most accomplished fellows out there. He’s always on CNN with his anatomic dummy-models to explain to common-folk about abstruse medical information in uncomplicated terms. He has his own TV show (“Weekend House Call with Dr. Sanjay Gupta”), does brain surgery when he feels like it, is a White House Fellow (only 15 fellows are appointed), was named as one of People Magazine’s “Sexiest Men Alive”, won a Humanitarian Award from the National Press Photographers Association, is a certified medical investigator… and he’s only 35. Damn, what a stud.

I wish I could be half the stud he is. My mom is also always telling me, “Why can’t you become the next Sanjay Gupta and be on CNN?”… Sigh.

2. The next candidate is Dr. Gregory House, from Fox’s new medical drama House. Dr. House is a maverick physician who’s completely devoid of any bedside manner and wouldn’t even talk to his physicians if he could get away with it. He realizes that everyone else around him is an idiot–physicians and patients alike. Dealing with his own constant pain, he walks around with a cane that further accentuates his erratic, yet brutally honest demeanor as a physician and human being. Working as an infectious disease specialist at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (thank you Kazim), he’s a brilliant diagnostician who hates run-of-the-mill cases and will only take cases that lesser doctors can’t solve. He hates going to clinic hours (to see ordinary patients)–I remember the funniest thing in one episode was when a certain patient got a restraining order of 500 feet against him, he had that patient moved to one floor immediately above the clinic… thus making him not have to go to clinic hours… hehe. Overall, the guy’s a genius, the entire hospital knows it too, so they have to put up with his attitude cause they know they won’t find a better doctor elsewhere.

Dr. Gregory House

3. And of course, who can forget everyone’s favorite doctor from Scrubs, Dr. Perry Cox. Dr. Cox is also somewhat like Dr. House: he’s an amazing diagnostician, has an attitude problem, and is the best physician on staff. Yet, he’s more in your face than Dr. House; his sarcasm and quoteable quotes are more memorable as well. He’s also a better teacher than House (to some extent), as he does have his “mentor” moments with J.D., and deep down, looks out for the welfare of his residents.

Of course. Dr. Cox is better known for his quotes, some of my personal favorites include:

  • Well gosh, I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy I just wanted to help people. I don’t tell this story often, but I remember when I was 7 years old, one time I found a bird that had fallen out of it’s nest, and so I picked him up and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox. (starts laughing). I became a doctor for the same four reasons that everybody does: chicks, money, power, and chicks.
  • Morning, class. As residency director, it is my pleasure to have both Surgical and Medical personnel here with us today. In fact, in this room we have enough brain power to light up a city! Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws
  • Well that’s absurd, people are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling!

Dr. Perry Cox


4. I guess I could also include stereotypical desi-uncle doctor here: this guy develops a huge gut, drives a beamer, counsels his patients on the importance of working out/eating healthy and never does, lets his wife spend all his money on ridiculous items like $80k jewelry sets, and is so old-school that he continues treating hypertension patients with diuretics instead of ACE inhibitors or beta-blockers (like atenolol).

(insert picture of fat desi uncle with stethoscope here)

5. Other doctor-personality not mentioned here.

Anyway, vote using comments and let’s see what comes from this.

Shout out to Captain Kirk! Never thought a white guy after Larry Bird could take over a playoff game until tonight.

Currently Drinking:
Hershey’s Milkshake Cookies N Cream
Note: This has been affectionately dubbed by one hardcore brother as “Jannah in a bottle”.


From → Uncategorized

  1. Atta boy, Kamran. That’s how you post a Currently Whatever-ing Xangazon.

  2. Out of the 5, the coolest doctor is Gregory House, cause he’s a lovable jerk who always does what is right, even if that means putting his career on the line. You could be like House, cause you can be a jerk, but the problem is that your not as cool as he is and you’d need a spiffy english cane.Your best bet is the scrubs guy.The Hospital where House practices is called Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

  3. Anonymous permalink

    Do you know what was the result of that laptop theft? Was he caught? Did he get charged?

  4. Man.. that laptop professor needs a menthos.. the FRESHMAKER!!!!

  5. a Gupta as sexiest man alive? ewwww…
    and the world does not need another Dr. Cox…you can be Nurse Laverne.

  6. …or you can be Dr.Phil and make your debut on Oprah

  7. …or you can be Dr. Wadud. just kidding. Dr. Cox rules!

  8. Anonymous permalink

    i agree with afqar.. btw.. that professor is AWESOME!

  9. Anonymous permalink

    Dude you have Dr. Cox written all over you. But dont fall into that twisted relationship he has with his wife.
    Although, all those benefits with out the commitment… hmmm

  10. KR, you should be like Dr. House… you’ve got the brains for it and you hate idiots, as per your “kr’s prayer” away message that has to be one of the best away messages of all time

  11. Anonymous permalink

    Asalamualaikum, wow, that prof is awesome…that kid is gonna know, im sure it takes a hella smart kid to take all the effort to steal an exam, so why didnt they just channel the brain power into studying in teh first place? i hope he went to the prof and took care of stuff. Anyways, dr. sanjay gupta is awesome, dr. cox pisses too many people off with his witty remarks and sadly i dont know this dr. house. or you could be typical desi doctor saab, which is where probably over half of the desi kids nowadays are headed…

  12. KR you would make an awesome Dr.Dre

  13. Anonymous permalink

    dude that clip didnt work for me! damnit…
    haha i agree with MuslimSoulja…
    Dr. Gupta’s a stud…as much as I hate to admit it…nigga gets loot…

    hehehe…i think the professor’s bluffing; but it still pretty scary

  15. eprops….there! now stop whinning.

  16. Anonymous permalink

    MAN I HATE COCKY I.T. PROFESSORS!!! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!! They’re a bunch of arrogant social missfits, who derive some sick happiness from making their students lives hell. CS-470

  17. KamKam!
    Sanjay Gupta is the man…if you could be half the doctor he is, then you will have accomplished something…I however, inshallah, will be the Charcot of the 21st century…
    Queen Rooji

  18. I dont believe the professor cause MS wont call you when you install the same version of windowsXP. Come on now, the ppl in redmond, wa called him in fifteen minutes after installing it?? If I guy name Joe called him from India, then i might have believed him. LOL

  19. Anonymous permalink

    This is going to be a grossly unpopular stance but, hey, when has that ever stopped me? Sanjay Gupta is a total fraud. The world needs more semi-sadistic, abundantly-sarcastic doctors; I say go with House.

  20. Imran, the IT profs at my school were by far, the wierdest of the bunch. We actually had one professor who got a kick out of eating toothpaste. hahaha…

  21. Dr. Gupta is every mother’s dream child. Kr, I seriously think you’re nearly there

  22. My vote goes for stereotypical desi-uncle doctor. Those guys are FOBs but they sure know their medicine. Even if they don’t actually practice their own medical advice.

  23. I don’t think you’re misanthropic enough to be Dr. House or Dr. Cox. Emam is right, you’re practically Dr. Gupta already.

  24. I think the prof was bluffing. BIG TIME. But he did a great job of making it seem like he was dead serious.

  25. Anonymous permalink

    I dunno why I’m writing here…

  26. kr, was the thief apprehended?

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