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February 15, 2005

I Ain’t Mad at Cha’


It is better to look at the defects in you than to look for the unseen worlds that are veiled from you.”
–Ibn `Ata’illah al-Sikandari


This is an extremely random post. Let’s see if I can tie it all together by the time I finish.


I heard some terrible news over the weekend. It turns out that my second cousin who lives in California is going through a tough time in his life. He’s been married for over 10 years now with kids, and he’s one of the most devoted fathers and husbands I’ve ever seen. Even though he’s a big-time engineer, he voluntarily went part time because his wife wanted to work during the day at a bank and so he could stay home and take care of the kids. His wife isn’t the greatest woman in the world… she was beginning to fall for some American guy at the bank and then he found out. Nothing serious happened, thankfully, so he forgave her and went on with the marriage for the sake of the family. A few weeks ago, he comes home early from work to find his wife in bed with another man… a Sudanese fellow who used to come to the house to teach the kids Qur’an. And instead of feeling bad about what she did, she demanded a divorce, is taking him to court, and went off with the children, preventing him from seeing them.


We often have the stereotype that it’s always the man in a marital relationship that seems to be the root of all problems in his extra-marital behavior, spousal abuse, etc. The sad reality is that just as we live in an increasingly “equal” society, the opposite occurrences are beginning to take place as well. Women, perhaps as an ironic result of the modern notion of gender equality, are doing actions that are just as blameworthy and heinous as men–the result in both cases, of course, being the destruction of the family. I guess the point here is that no race, gender, religion, culture, or group has the world monopoly on wickedness and stupidity. These two diseases affect the entire human race with equal frequency and randomness. The world has no shortage of fools; it has no scarcity of villains either.


Despite all this global heinousness, I’m neither mad nor surprised. As Tupac said, “I ain’t mad at cha”–I ain’t mad at all these evil and stupid people that continue to bankrupt the morality and spirituality of the human race everyday. How come? The Qur’an tells us, “Say: not equal are evil and goodness, even though the abudance of evil may dazzle (and incapacitate) thee; So fear God, o ye men of deep understanding in order that ye may prosper.” Despite all this wickedness and stupidity that one sees globally, even the tiniest amount of goodness is greater than that abundance of evil. In other words, focus on the goodness–no matter how hard it is to see it–and do not be amazed (to the point that it leaves you incapacitated to carry out your earthly tasks) with evil and stupidity. That’s why I ain’t mad. I’ve learnt over the years that every single human being has some goodness to offer, provided one is willing to look beyond the outward (while hating the action and not the person) and taking the goodness. Perhaps it’s this one certainty shared by the Prophets (`alayhim al-salaam), especially the Messenger of Allah (salallahu `alayhi wa sallam), that allowed them to endure the stupidity and wickedness of their people, in the hopes that their inner goodness would shine through as the sun bursts through a maelstorm of thundering clouds. I think it’s this one certainty that we need now, more than ever, otherwise this evil and stupidity will just consume you.


Muharram started a few days ago. I’ve always found that one of the miracles about this month is that there’s never any argument amongst the Muslim ummah when Muharram starts… hehe, everyone seems to magically make ijma` (consensus) and just leave it at that. Anyway, with the advent of Muharram, a month whose very name has been made inviolable and sacred, it’s time for us to make some new year’s resolutions in a spirit of renewal and progress to make our lives inviolable and sacred for our Lord. While there is a myriad of resolutions one can make, I simply offer two suggestions:


The first is “I ain’t mad at cha”; don’t be incapacitated by the wickedness and stupidity (like for example all the stupidity posted in my chatterbox lately…) all around you. Embrace the Prophetic certainty in the goodness of the human race.


The second is to reflect on the above words of Ibn `Ata’illah: if you’re like me, you’ll be too busy being mad at yourself to have any more time to be mad at anyone else.


That’s why I ain’t mad at cha.


I don’t know if I tied everything together, but please make du’a for my cousin that Allah reunites him with his kids and makes this time easy for him.


Bonus IM Conversation Transcript: I certainly can’t be mad after reading this hilarious conversation


anon y mous: go to bed young padowan
anon y mous: salaam
k r 1 5 6: ws
k r 1 5 6: but you didnt read me my bed time story
k r 1 5 6: and you promised you would
anon y mous: um
anon y mous: ok
anon y mous: once there was a young lad named kamran
anon y mous: he was good to his mom
anon y mous: and his bro
anon y mous: and he was a religious guy too
anon y mous: he worked hard in school
anon y mous: and studied hard
anon y mous: and then did hifz
anon y mous: and then went to med school
anon y mous: where he was about to waste his time second year updating a blog
anon y mous: but he balanced it with studying hard for boards
anon y mous: then did really well
anon y mous: rocked third year
anon y mous: and fourth year
anon y mous: got into a top residency for a cush field of his choice
anon y mous: found the hottest muslim hijabi this side of the atlantic
anon y mous: and married her
anon y mous: and had 7 kids who all helped put him in heaven with their deeds
anon y mous: and he was also a baller too who could dunk
k r 1 5 6: can i put this on my xanga
k r 1 5 6: so how does the bedtime story end
anon y mous: jannah kid
anon y mous: jannah
anon y mous: with unlimited verticals, hoors, and friends to chill with
k r 1 5 6: awesome


 


 

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29 Comments
  1. It’s the feel-good post of the year.

  2. Anonymous permalink

    seven kids? if the hijabi is reading this you certainly scared her off…lol.
    dua for your cousin will do…inshallah…hope he gets his kids back…

  3. Anonymous permalink

    Asad is too quick to label everything feel good post. Its only Early Muharram and its only Feb. Your just like those movie guys, every movie released is the BEST Movie of the year. Dont worry about scaring off the hottest hijabi on this side of the atlantic, KR got it mixed up, the hottest hijabi she’ll be with me. The 2nd hottest hijbai, possibly her older sister, he might be scaring off.

  4. truly hisham, you speak the truth, how can i compete with you when you have the “AXE EFFECT” working for you… it wouldn’t even be a contest.

  5. may ALlah help your second cousin and give him his kids back, and reward him for what he has been through
    your middle part reminded me of Allah’s ‘reward’ system; Imam Zaid was explaining at isna one year.  He was saying how when we do something good, there are so many times where it is multiplied over and over.  like salat for example, we get the reward of 10 salaat when we pray 1, when we read a letter of Quran, we get the reward of 10 letters, etc.  even making the intention to do something good, you get the reward just for that even if you dont follow through.  and when we do something bad, it is only counted as one bad deed.  all i gotta say is, alhumdulillah :).

  6. Anonymous permalink

    dude lets go to cali and get da kids back…lets do it how da NFL does it man…im ready…hisham and his ears shud be ready too…and get hasan too…

  7. From a legal standpoint, I’d be surprised if she gets sole custody of the children. May Allah have mercy on him and reward him for his patience.

  8. Anonymous permalink

    Man what days have befallen the ummah of the noble Prophet Muhammad(S) that adultery is not committed by the most vile of society, but between a muslim woman, who is a mother, AND a man who teaches the Qur’an to her children. “The best among you is he who learned the Qur’an and then taught it.”…..This is the famous hadith that prompted so many of us to learn the Qur’an and to teach it. What has befallen us that “the best among us” are also falling into the flith of adultery. Let this be a lesson to all muslims, take whatever precautions, to prevent yourselves, your wives, your family into becoming involved in this sin. And subhanallah, what’s befallen this muslim woman that she has no haya(modesty) or sharam that she doesn’t lower her head in shame, but raises it with pride and she asks for a divorce and custody of the chidren???? This is arrogance! ANd you know today I look at the feminist muslim women with disgust. You cried about your rights and I listened. And absolutely I agree the rights of muslim women have been violated. But when freedom is given to you, is this how you act with your freedom. When your husband sacrifices his career so you can have your own, do you reward him with treachery. Allah made the men their protectors, so do whatever is necessary to protect them. And also a big big warning to my muslim brothers. Take time to develop a strong bond with your wives, beause shaitaan is attacking us from every direction. Don’t think there is something magical about a muslim woman, that she will never cheat on you. We’re all humans, suceptible to human desire and the tricks of shaytaan. Be just, kind, generous, AND strict, disciplined, etc.

  9. Anonymous permalink

    I feel compelled to say something else in regards to the hadith, “The best among you is he who learned the Qur’an and then taught it.”! Subhanallah, I think this hadith means more than just reciting, but understanding and implementing the Qur’an. Subhanallah, we have to deal with Islam at a deeper level. Beyond just recitation and physical rituals. I feel very sad reading this post in the sense that, that man or woman could be anyone of us. NAUDHUBILLAH!!! I remember the days when people use to say oh mashaAllah that kid is religious and that sister is mashaAllah so hardcore. All that means very little to me. No one knows how he will be tested and tried. Sayidina Nabi Yusuf(AS) was tested with Zulaikhah, and he(AS) suceeded the test due to Allah’s mercy and guidence and his steadfastness in being obedient to Allah(swt). Honestly, a hijab or a beard is not enough or adequate to qualify you as a good muslim. And muslims who keep the beard and wear hijab to pacify themselves are jokers. I like the quote Kamran posted in the beginning, “It is better to look at the defects in you than to look for the unseen worlds that are veiled from you.” by Ibn `Ata’illah al-Sikandari. I think we need to really look inward and be sincere about accepting our defects and working to correct them. Like there is so much sufi rhetoric about reaching these high levels and attaing insights. honestly, dude whoooo cares??? All of that is lost in a second if you don’t work on your deficiencies. Honestly, posts like this scare me. They fill me with so much fear and they motivate me to become stronger in Islam. What certainty do I have that I won’t find myself in that kind of predicament? I’m no prophet, wali, etc. Allah save us all!

  10. why mention the Zina-doers ethnicity/nationality?

  11. lets go to cali baby!!!
    me and alti will kick some ass and take down some names.

  12. ihussaini,
    while i agree with your disgust and surprise about the above mentioned tragedy, i don’t agree with your take on the rights and freedoms granted to Muslim women and how we just abuse that.  that is an EXTREMELY unfair claim.  there are bad apples in every barrel, but don’t judge the whole batch by just that apple.  how is you making this blanket statement about muslim women any different than what the western media has done to muslims??? and just because there are a few who are out there who would have the audacity to do such a thing, the rest of us have to be punished??? a dua would have been more fitting.  May Allah protect the muslimeen from such heinous sins and such hurtful circumstances, ameen.

  13. I have to add some agreement to Sannashine’s comment.

  14. bad in cali, but there is also good:
    http://www.deen-intensive.com

  15. Anonymous permalink

    sannashine, Ok our deen has 2 very important aspects, amr bil ma’roof wa nahi al-munkar. This is part of our aqeedah. And aqeedah is something that is to be done by word and deed. In other words, the belief system of a muslim must include promotion of righteousness and good deeds AS well as prohibition of evil deeds and deviations. So as muslims we MUST do more that just make du’a, although du’a is necessary and the Prophet(S) said, “du’a is the core of worship.”, we have to strongly negate and comdemn misdeeds when they occurr. Unfortunately, muslims are only focussing on the amr bil’ maroof aspect and leaving the other out. Albeit, we should do this with hikmah, understood. May Allah guide us and complete us in our practice of Islam. Now in light of the spirit of amr bil maroof wa nahi al munkar, I think whatever I said in condemnation of the sin and promoting people to stay away from it, was valid and it was something expected of all muslims. However, sister I think you’re mistaken that I condemned all muslim women by my remarks. I categorically made my alligations against muslim feminist women. There is a HUGE difference. All muslimahs of the world are not feminists, nor are all feminists of the world muslimahs. So I think this should clarify any confusion that may have been caused, inshaAllah. But just in case it hasn’t, let me explain further. I have never heard the term feminist or male chuavanist being used by any Prophet of Allah, by any companion(RA), or by any major credible Islamic scholar. Nor have i read of it in the Qur’an, nor have I heard of it being mentioned in any ahadith. These terms and ideologies are innovations concocted by western society. By definition feminism and male chauvanism are bigoted because they are oriented exclusively toward one gender. What Allah calls for is the peaceful and harmonious co-existence of both genders. And this is achieved by recognizing the huqooq or rights, of men and women, exclusively and mutually. And these huqooq can only be upheld when we attain taqwa and piety. This is why feminism and male chauvanism are failed ideologies. But just because an ideology or faith is flawed, it doesn’t mean there isn’t anything good in it, either. Muslim feminist women were correct in pointing out subjugation and ill treatment of women in the muslim world. And they were correct about creating awareness of women’s rights. However, they failed because their call for social change was not supported by the shariah and its guidelines. So women are free, more free to a certain extent, then before. But there also is a backlash, as is clearly demonstrated in this post about Kamran’s 2nd cousin. And I am calling such women to account for their evident failure. They’ve made women more free, but they’ve done so in a wreckless and irresponsible manner. These muslims feminist women never thought about moral responsibilities that are incumbent upon women, just as much as they are incumbent upon men. And always with freedom comes responsibility, accountability, and consequences. And when I see negative consequences. And I see disregard of responsibilities. AND I see a disregard of accountability. I think I have a right to criticize these very same muslim feminist women who may have suceeded in gaining women’s rights, which is noble, but clearly failed in teaching women how to “use” that freedom. And Allah knows best!

  16. damn imran, that was deep. barakallahu feek for that.

  17. and whats up with that DIP being “sisters only”… when have they ever had a “brothers only” DIP?
    all us brothers oughta demand a brothers only DIP too!… hehe.

  18. Sorry, Inshallah this works.

    TEACHER BIOSHakima Karima BurnsKarima Burns, MH, ND has a Doctorate in Naturopathyand a Masters in Herbal Healing.  She has studiednatural healing for 12 years, published a naturalhealing newsletter for 4 years, and writes extensivelyon natural healing and herbs. Hakima Karima becameinterested in natural healing after ending herpersonal lifelong struggle with asthma, allergies,chronic ear infections, depression, hypoglycemia,fatigue and panic attacks with herbs and naturaltherapies. She also runs an herbal consulting clinicand school. Additionally, she offers courses online tostudents in 10 different countries around the globe.She has been a healer since 1993, and a teacher since1986. The owner of the Herb’n Muslim, she is also theeditor, writer, teacher, herbalist and naturopath ofthe Herb’n Muslim and Islamic Healing Course Onlinesite. In addition she has been offering consultationservices online and in person since 1996 and has beenteaching and writing about natural living and healingsince 1993. The Hakima, a mother of three, has lived
    <!–
    D([“mb”,”rnhalf of her life in the Midwest (Iowa) and the otherrnhalf of her life in the Middle East (Egypt and SaudirnArabia).  rn rnUmm Hassan (Saliha Shakir)rnUmm Hassan converted to Islam in 1977 while serving inrnthe US Air Force.  She graduated with honors fromrnRutgers University with a B.A in Urban Geography and arnminor in Elementary Education.  She owned a clothingrndesign company called Shakira Designs and patented arnpractical Muslim womens’ clothing style known asrnPancoti.  When she closed the business, she traveledrnwith her husband, Imam Zaid Shakir, to Damascus tornstudy at the Institute for international students inrnJami’at Abu Noor.  She continued to deepen her studyrnfrom 1994 -2001 in Morocco, Egypt and Syria byrnstudying privately with renowned Muslim femalernscholars.  Her topics of study have included Tajwid,rnArabic and fiqh. Since returning to the U.S. she hasrnbeen an active advocate for Muslim StudentrnAssociations, national and women’s organizations. Sherntirelessly serves the Muslim community as arnconsultant, public speaker, net worker and rightsrnadvocate.  Umm Hassan currently serves as thernpresident of the Islamic Media Association, founded inrn2003 to protect property rights of Islamic mediarnartists of the USA and Canada.  rn rnUstadhah Umm HuzayfahrnUmm Huzayfah was raised in Great Britain where shernattended Jama’at ul-Iman, a madrasa in Bradford,rnEngland for 5 years. There, she completed the ‘Alimahrncourse of study covering many of the Islamic sciencesrnwhich she studied exclusively with female scholars.rn Her teachers in Hanafi Fiqh were Ustadhah Shazia Abbarnand Ustadhah Hawa Abba. After graduating, sherncontinued to teach Tajwid, Arabic and Hadith at thernmadrasa. Umm Huzayfah, a mother of two, teachesrnprivate classes and at the children’s schoolrnaffiliated with Islamic Society of Santa Barbara, CArnwhere her husband, Mufti Abdur-Rahman bin Yusuf”,1]
    );

    //–>
    half of her life in the Midwest (Iowa) and the otherhalf of her life in the Middle East (Egypt and SaudiArabia).   Umm Hassan (Saliha Shakir)Umm Hassan converted to Islam in 1977 while serving inthe US Air Force.  She graduated with honors fromRutgers University with a B.A in Urban Geography and aminor in Elementary Education.  She owned a clothingdesign company called Shakira Designs and patented apractical Muslim womens’ clothing style known asPancoti.  When she closed the business, she traveledwith her husband, Imam Zaid Shakir, to Damascus tostudy at the Institute for international students inJami’at Abu Noor.  She continued to deepen her studyfrom 1994 -2001 in Morocco, Egypt and Syria bystudying privately with renowned Muslim femalescholars.  Her topics of study have included Tajwid,Arabic and fiqh. Since returning to the U.S. she hasbeen an active advocate for Muslim StudentAssociations, national and women’s organizations. Shetirelessly serves the Muslim community as aconsultant, public speaker, net worker and rightsadvocate.  Umm Hassan currently serves as thepresident of the Islamic Media Association, founded in2003 to protect property rights of Islamic mediaartists of the USA and Canada.   Ustadhah Umm HuzayfahUmm Huzayfah was raised in Great Britain where sheattended Jama’at ul-Iman, a madrasa in Bradford,England for 5 years. There, she completed the ‘Alimahcourse of study covering many of the Islamic scienceswhich she studied exclusively with female scholars. Her teachers in Hanafi Fiqh were Ustadhah Shazia Abbaand Ustadhah Hawa Abba. After graduating, shecontinued to teach Tajwid, Arabic and Hadith at themadrasa. Umm Huzayfah, a mother of two, teachesprivate classes and at the children’s schoolaffiliated with Islamic Society of Santa Barbara, CAwhere her husband, Mufti Abdur-Rahman bin Yusuf
    <!–
    D([“mb”,”rncurrently serves as Imam.rn rnUstadhah Saira AbuBakr rnSaira has received a B.S. in Biology and a M.S. inrnGenetic Counseling and Human Genetics.  She was arngenetic counselor for five years and worked inrnclinical research for one year.  She has studied Fiqh,rnArabic, and Tajwid in Hayward, CA since 1997 withrnShaykh Hamza Yusuf, Shaykh Khatri ould Bauba, SidirnRami Nsour, and intensively with Shaykh Salek ibnrnSiddina.  In 2000 she attended an 8 month Arabicrnintensive at the Fajr and Diwan centers in Cairo,rnEgypt to study Grammar and Rhetoric.  Her knowledge ofrnArabic has allowed her to delve into a deeper study ofrnthe original texts.   She has been teaching Malikirnfiqh texts privately in the San Francisco Bay Arearnsince 2002 and recently began teaching thernProhibitions of the Tongue, a text of ihsan by ShaykhrnMuhammad Mawlud in 2004.  rn rnUstadhah Fadwa SilmirnFadwa Silmi received her B.A. in Middle EasternrnStudies from the University of California in Berkeleyrnin 1997. After teaching in a private elementary schoolrnfor five years, she returned to academia and receivedrna Master’s Degree in Elementary Education from SanrnFrancisco State University.  Fadwa has studied Fiqhrnand Arabic in Hayward since 1997.  She has completedrnbasic and intermediate Maliki Fiqh texts in Arabic andrnEnglish with Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Shaykh Khatri ouldrnBauba, Sidi Rami Nsour, and Shaykh Salek ibn Siddina.rnShe studied Arabic at UC Berkeley for three years, andrncontinued her studies with Shaykh Hamza Yusuf for twornyears.  She currently serves as the Program Directorrnfor the children’s Quran school at the ZaytunarnInstitute in Hayward, CA where her husband, SidirnMuhammad Nabil Afifi, also teaches. At present, Fadwarnteaches both fiqh and Arabic privately.          rn rnUstadhah Rania AwaadrnRaised in the U.S., Rania began her formal traditionalrneducation at the age of 14 when her parents permitted”,1]
    );

    //–>
    currently serves as Imam. Ustadhah Saira AbuBakr Saira has received a B.S. in Biology and a M.S. inGenetic Counseling and Human Genetics.  She was agenetic counselor for five years and worked inclinical research for one year.  She has studied Fiqh,Arabic, and Tajwid in Hayward, CA since 1997 withShaykh Hamza Yusuf, Shaykh Khatri ould Bauba, SidiRami Nsour, and intensively with Shaykh Salek ibnSiddina.  In 2000 she attended an 8 month Arabicintensive at the Fajr and Diwan centers in Cairo,Egypt to study Grammar and Rhetoric.  Her knowledge ofArabic has allowed her to delve into a deeper study ofthe original texts.   She has been teaching Malikifiqh texts privately in the San Francisco Bay Areasince 2002 and recently began teaching theProhibitions of the Tongue, a text of ihsan by ShaykhMuhammad Mawlud in 2004.   Ustadhah Fadwa SilmiFadwa Silmi received her B.A. in Middle EasternStudies from the University of California in Berkeleyin 1997. After teaching in a private elementary schoolfor five years, she returned to academia and receiveda Master’s Degree in Elementary Education from SanFrancisco State University.  Fadwa has studied Fiqhand Arabic in Hayward since 1997.  She has completedbasic and intermediate Maliki Fiqh texts in Arabic andEnglish with Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Shaykh Khatri ouldBauba, Sidi Rami Nsour, and Shaykh Salek ibn Siddina.She studied Arabic at UC Berkeley for three years, andcontinued her studies with Shaykh Hamza Yusuf for twoyears.  She currently serves as the Program Directorfor the children’s Quran school at the ZaytunaInstitute in Hayward, CA where her husband, SidiMuhammad Nabil Afifi, also teaches. At present, Fadwateaches both fiqh and Arabic privately.           Ustadhah Rania AwaadRaised in the U.S., Rania began her formal traditionaleducation at the age of 14 when her parents permitted
    <!–
    D([“mb”,”rnher to travel to Damascus, Syria to study variousrnbranches of the Islamic sciences. In 1999 she receivedrnan ijaza to teach the recitation of Hafs and in 2004rnreceived ijaza in the recitation of Warsh from therneminent Syrian scholar, Shaykh Abu Hassan al-Kurdi.rnThroughout her trips to and from Damascus, sherncompleted elementary and intermediate Shafi’i textsrnwith several renowned female scholars includingrnUstadhah Hanaa ‘Abdeen, one of the foremost studentsrnof the late Shaykh Abdul Karim ar-Rifai’. She laterrnfurthered her Shafi’i studies with Shaykh Abdullahrnal-Kadi, Imam Zaid Shakir, Sidi Musa Furber and isrncurrently studying advanced Shafi’i texts with ShaykhrnAbdullah Adhami and Ustadh Amr Khalifa. Most recentlyrnshe has received ijaza to teach Maliki fiqh fromrnShaykh Salek ibn Siddina at the Zaytuna Institute inrnHayward, CA. Rania graduated with honors from thernUniversity of Michigan with a B.A. in Islamic Studies,rna B.S. in Biological Anthropology and a minor inrnEnvironmental Studies. She is currently pursuing arnmedical degree intended to compliment her in depthrnstudy of female fiqh issues and is working onrncompiling a manual addressing female-related issuesrnfrom both the Shafi’i fiqh and medical perspectives.rnShe has been teaching both private and public Tajwidrnand fiqh classes in the Midwest since 1999.rn rnShaykh Hamza YusufrnShaykh Hamza embraced Islam in 1977 in Santa Barbara,rnCalifornia, when he was still a teenager and set offrnalmost immediately to study Arabic, Islamicrnjurisprudence, philosophy, and spiritual psychologyrnwith masters in the Muslim world. He first studied forrnfour years in the United Arab Emirates and then movedrnto Medina, followed by Algeria, Morocco, and thenrnfinally to a unique madrasa in the Saharan desert ofrnWest Africa to study with the remarkable scholarrnShaykh Murabit al-Hajj. After ten-years of studies”,1]
    );

    //–>
    her to travel to Damascus, Syria to study variousbranches of the Islamic sciences. In 1999 she receivedan ijaza to teach the recitation of Hafs and in 2004received ijaza in the recitation of Warsh from theeminent Syrian scholar, Shaykh Abu Hassan al-Kurdi.Throughout her trips to and from Damascus, shecompleted elementary and intermediate Shafi’i textswith several renowned female scholars includingUstadhah Hanaa ‘Abdeen, one of the foremost studentsof the late Shaykh Abdul Karim ar-Rifai’. She laterfurthered her Shafi’i studies with Shaykh Abdullahal-Kadi, Imam Zaid Shakir, Sidi Musa Furber and iscurrently studying advanced Shafi’i texts with ShaykhAbdullah Adhami and Ustadh Amr Khalifa. Most recentlyshe has received ijaza to teach Maliki fiqh fromShaykh Salek ibn Siddina at the Zaytuna Institute inHayward, CA. Rania graduated with honors from theUniversity of Michigan with a B.A. in Islamic Studies,a B.S. in Biological Anthropology and a minor inEnvironmental Studies. She is currently pursuing amedical degree intended to compliment her in depthstudy of female fiqh issues and is working oncompiling a manual addressing female-related issuesfrom both the Shafi’i fiqh and medical perspectives.She has been teaching both private and public Tajwidand fiqh classes in the Midwest since 1999.

  19. salaami enter, for no reason that my words could or should be heard among those of such illustrious individuals, but because a small suggestion, such as that the child made when the emperor was walking through the street. not that any of you are without clothes, but still.how about the following distinction:1. female chauvinists = bad = think women are superior2. male chauvinists = bad = think men are superior3. muslims = good = think men and women are equal4. muslim feminists = good = want women to rise to their equal spot along with the men.does this make sense to anyone? just a thought.salaamjannahseekerakadreamspeak

  20. no, it doesnt make sense, because i think the term “muslim feminist” is an oxymoron, as much as “military intelligence”, “jumbo shrimp”, etc. are.
    feminism is defined as “belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes”… now one reads this and thinks, “hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
    but clearly, the western definition of equality to extend into realms in which God has not intended for there to be complete equality in is the root of the problem. For example, economically, men and women are not outwardly equal in Islamic law: the man’s share of inheritance is greater, whereas a wife’s income is completely hers and none in the family has a right over it (as opposed to the husband’s wealth, to which everyone has a right on it). there are many such examples along these lines, but i think this should suffice as a segue into my main point:
    the problem with “feminism” is that it seeks to create equality and competition in those arenas wherein there never was meant to be equality. men will always be physically stronger than women; women will always be more compassionate than man. we just have to accept that and stop whining as to this being unfair and junk. because rather than each gender trying to out-do or equal the other gender, i think one has to appreciate God’s wisdom of the true definition of equality: “and whosoever does works of righteousness, whether male or female, and is a believer, then these are the ones who shall enter the Paradise…”
    in reality, the “equality” is when the strengths of the genders are combined so as to outweigh the weaknesses–particularly in the area of spirituality (an area in which women certainly have an advantage over men… something of which im jealous of… hehe)–that each gender has. the reason why everyone loves the word “equality” is that it seems to be a prereq for grander achievements, such as “prosperity” and “felicity”. i contend that the way Islam has defined roles is amazing since it skips the confusion and debate on how to define “equality” and provides a path to the grander roles.
    when such a path has already been laid out, why does one need to be a feminist or chauvinist?
    with that said, i want to add that Terrell Owens is my hero.

  21. salaamwell yes of course – the two are separate, kr! remember the birds and the bees? or were you sleeping in health class? that would explain a lot.but it seems to me that overall the similarities are much more prevalent than the differences. a medman such as yourself can appreciate that we have quite the same DNA. we both have arms, legs, brains, hands, and hearts (and yes, two eyes kr, yes, two eyes). yet we also have similar responsibilities – belief, prayer, fasting, and obedience to the One God. in my humble opinion, we play up the differences as if we were not even one species. God sent one Quran down to both men and women, and even though one may be physically stronger than the other and one may be more compassionate than the other – the rules, regulations, and yes, the rewards apply to both of us.although kr, you are quite the compassionate, albeit weak, fella. salaam

  22. dream s peak: see my reply?dream s peak: hellok r 1 5 6: reading itdream s peak: dream s peak: you know you set yourself up for thatk r 1 5 6: i dont understand your reply?dream s peak: um i agree with you?k r 1 5 6: oh, nice k r 1 5 6: i was gonna give more examples as to how we’re not completely equalk r 1 5 6: like women pray at home or masjidk r 1 5 6: same reward!k r 1 5 6: but men… we HAVE to go to the masjidk r 1 5 6: during the “period”… women get reward for prayerk r 1 5 6: etck r 1 5 6: if you think about itk r 1 5 6: women actually ahve it easierdream s peak: yeah we’re just jealousk r 1 5 6: you didnt agree about TO thoughdream s peak: umdream s peak: does it have to be said?k r 1 5 6: you know you agreek r 1 5 6: TO is the mandream s peak: you act like universal truths need to be agreed upon in writingk r 1 5 6: well played

  23. ihussaini,
    in light of your response and the comments from kamran and dreamspeak, i think one thing is clear.  i don’t know what your definition of a feminist is and what freedom was violated with this all happening.  what is muslim feminism?  and was it the freedom to work or freedom to be at home while the husband is at work or something else? im not understanding that.  im not sure what definition of freedom feminists want that is not supported in shariah and they backlashed (it may be my ignorance, so forgive me for that).  but whatever that freedom is, i can’t imagine being at home alone when your husband is at work as one of them.  yes, in this specific case, the husband allowed his wife to work, but the deed that pushed it over the top happened in the home and i don’t see any ‘feminists’ fighting for the right to stay home. the incident that actually occured in my mind has no corrilation to any freedoms she may have pushed for.  the facts: it was in her home, with a man that came to the home that i am guessing the husband knew about.  this is a possibility (may Allah save us all from it) to anyone regardless of the amount of freedom they were given (short of the husband being around her 24/7).  the short version of what i am trying to say: its a pretty everyday situation in which this loathsome incident occured and if this situation merits less freedom for all women, a) how do we as an ummah try to prevent this b) what freedoms should be revoked/left and what should the role of a muslim wife/woman be and c) what fail-safe method is there in place to police the men who can just as well do the same thing, Allah knows it happens this way too (chances are the male partner in this crime hurt his wife in the process too)?  this is an issue that definitely needs addressing so that the probability of something like this happening in our ummah is reduced to nothing.
    i agree with you that feminism and chauvenism both don’t have much place in islam b/c the rights and responsibilities of both are laid down for us by Qur’an and sunnah, and b/c of this there is no need for such ideologies for practicing muslims.  but i fail to see the relevance of that in this particular situation. and i also agree that nahi al-munkar is not done enough in our ummah and that we need to do more than just dua.  but the dua suggestion was for this particular forum: a personal xanga of a person’s thoughts where comments from readers are allowed. in the real world, more than just dua needs to be done.
    may Allah help us to do more to serve Him
    Allah knows best

  24. I was definitely confused by what feminism was somehow blamed for adultery in this case.  Sannashine was able to articulate why this conclusion was in error. Also, concerning feminism, the movement itself was not one movement.  The term itself is varied and contains many different schools of thought.  Not all feminisms agree on the same issues, and I would recommend reading Applications of Feminist Legal Theory to Women’s Lives: Sex  Violence, Work, and Reproduction.  This work address the mutiply standpoints on issues such as pornograhy, prostitution, battered women, rape, employment, motherhood, and reproductive control to name a few.  You will find that there are many different opinions from mutliple sources.  I mention this because when feminism is discussed, I think we often only have a surface-level understanding.  The book I just listed is like any other law book, over 1,000 pages, but just it’s length and format illustrates this point.

  25. We should set up a Muslim Youth Jeopardy…and throw in Kamran, Sameer, and Asad as the contestants. Of course, I would be the host engaging the contestants in meaningless banter.

  26. Anonymous permalink

    sanashineOk I had some difficulty trying to understand what you were saying. But alhamdullilah I think I understood. It appears that you’re suggesting that there isn’t any corrilation between this incident(adultery) AND women pushing for their freedoms. As such an incident could have occurred irrespective of place, time, etc. or wether or not she had a job. In other words, what does women pushing for their own freedom and rights have to do with a seemingly random act of adultery that can occurr for various reasons? I think there is another misunderstanding that needs to be clarified. No one is saying that by allowing women to have jobs or to gain education, that this will lead them to committ adultery or any other sin. Again the point is that with freedom comes responsibility. Having a job, ganing education, the right to vote, etc., all these are great things. They are necessary freedoms. However, the problem is that women today are not being shown how to manage that freedom. And for that matter men as well. For example, say I was a kid from a troubled home and I got a job in some small american town where I am the only muslim man. I leave home, my parents, my friends. I have the right, the freedom, the choice to do so. And I might even have more of right to do so if I was being antagonized wrongfully at home or in my community. I go to this town and suddenly I realize that wow I’m on my own. I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want. If I want to drink, I can. If I want to date, I can. If I want to marry a non-muslim woman, I can. Even though I persued to attain my own physical, emotional, spatial, freedoms for which I had a right to do so…it doesn’t erase the obvious necessity that I need to figure out a way to manage these new found freedoms. Or else I’m going to find myself in very difficult situations and circumstances. Freedom is useless, without knowing how to use it properly to benefit myself. And then there are certain things you won’t be able to control and manage at all simply because they’re out of your hands. A dear friend of mine related a story of a girl who was raped by her boss. I mean do women have the right to work? sure. Is it wrong for men to rape women? sure. But this is all idealistic thought. And reality has it’s own set of ideals. Anyway in reviewing the the story, we learned and I quote, “she was beginning to fall for some American guy at the bank”. And further I quote, “he voluntarily went part time because his wife wanted to work during the day at a bank”. This evidently shows that there is corrilation between this woman leaning toward marital infedility and her career life, due to the fact that when she was granted the freedom to work by her husband, yet she didn’t know how to deal with the scenarios and oppertunities that presented themselves with that freedom. And if we were to question as to what were the reasons why the adulterous affair took place, it would make sense to trace back and analyze any signs that would indicate her lack of moral integrity as a faithful wife. And this sign clearly is indicated by her inclining towards the man at work. Now to answer a) how do we as an ummah try to prevent this b) what freedoms should be revoked/left and what should the role of a muslim wife/woman be and c) what fail-safe method is there in place to police the men who can just as well do the same thing, I believe that for all of them..we need to create fundamentally 2 things….an islamic society and an islamic economy. But until that is accomplished, we need to work and live with caution. Sometimes we will have to give up and learn to live without freedoms, just because it’s too dificult to manage the circumstances brought by this freedom. If I’m married and I feel as if there is a woman at work who’s leading me to sin, then the solution might necessitate that I quit. I can’t sit and cry about having the right to have a job. Other scenarios may not be as dire and may call for less drastic measures. Ultimately, I think we need to constantly seek Allah’s mercy, guidence, and we need to strive to save ourselves from such disasters. And Allah knows best.monicathedesigninatorI would like to reply, but my fingers are gona fall off and I have to go. Perhaps we can disscuss more about the book, etc., later, inshaAllah. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m leaving you out of the conversation.

  27. ihusaini,
    i would like to think that we are in agreement.  i too feel that those with freedom have to realize that there is responsibility associated as well.  you have used yourself as an example thoughout your last comment, so i would like to think that you feel the same applies to men as well.  if this is the case, then i think we do agree.  i don’t think that just b/c women fought for their rights that they solely have to be responsible about their freedoms. (some) men may not have had to fight for their right to work, get an education, etc (african american men had to fight for this right in this country), but they too need to learn responsibility. i may not have a specific example about a man violating this responsibility, but we all know it happens, i don’t feel the need to prove that. and maybe there were warning signs in this particular case, but my point is that the way it was executed does show that it could have happened even if she never worked, i.e. exercised a freedom she may have fought for.  the person it was committed with was a person completely independent of her fight for her freedoms, in fact it may even be someone the husband approved of (at least for the Quran task). so even if certain freedoms are not exercised, doesn’t mean the person is free from such a sin. 
    i am a little unsure about where you were going with your story about the boss raping his female employee.  what ideals does reality have that makes it too idealistic to let women work and expect men not to rape them?  if anything is that not a bad reflection on men?  that when a woman is given her right, he abuses it?  im sure there is more to the story, but the answer can’t be that it is idealistic to belive that women have a right to work and that a man is not going to rape her when islam, what we revere as our guide even in our daily lives, has made it permissible for a woman to work and has forbidden a man to partake in such acts.
    and yes i agree with your last point about having to give up some freedoms if they are bad for one’s deen.  this can only be accomplished through taqwa and amril ma’roof wa nahi al-munkar (as we both agree is not done enough). the mindset of muslims need to be focused on Allah and we have to encourage each other in His way and discourage what will take us away from Him. however i dont think this means a blanket revocation of freedom needs to be instilled, but rather we need to help ourselves and each other make these decisions on an individual basis. may ALlah help us to be on the Path that will lead us to Him, for He knows best.

  28. Anonymous permalink

    sannashineYea your third paragraph answers your confusion in the 2nd paragraph. I was merely illustrating that ideally women should be allowed to do many things. However, realistically sometimes these things are not tangible in a manner that has the best interests of women in mind, i.e. her safety. In earlier Islamic generations, I’ve heard of their being so much aman(safety) and security for women. Even my parents talk about this being the case while growing up in India. Sadly, this is not the same situation that exists today. So although women in the west have oppertunities to work and get educated, it’s vital that they do so in a manner that doesn’t endanger them and doesn’t compromise Islamic ideals. And this is something that has to be dynamically determined case by case. If the harms exceed the benefits, sometimes we have to leave things that we have rights to, for the greater good. I’m not sure what your life experiences have been. But I can say, that mine have led me to realize this. And at times it’s very painful to know that you have to sacrifice something that is rightfully yours, but in some cases it has to be done.

  29. Anonymous permalink

    monicathedesigninatorYea I really don’t have a problem referencing and gaining information from the book you mentioned. However, I feel as a muslim that for any social matter, much like anything else, we need to set an Islamic premise or Islamic ideals first and then it’s necessary for us to go into other books and materials for support perhaps. So basically the mutiple standpoints on issues such as pornograhy, prostitution, battered women, rape, employment, motherhood, and reproductive control that this work addresses I see falling into dimensions of rizq, fawahish, zulm, etc. So for example we know that part of the Islamic aqeedah is to believe Allah provides rizq, yet it us who decide how we earn it. And I feel this is one of the reasons why women may turn to prostitution, because they don’t realize that it’s Allah who provides and maybe think men control all the money, and this is the only way they can get it out of them? Allahu Alim. Needless to say I think we can all see why it’s important to understand these standpoints through Islamic aqeedah. And Allah knows best.

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