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November 27, 2004

Urdu Newspapers are Awesome and Pakistanis are Such Jahils

You know how they have all those free Urdu newspapers at the masjid? I always wondered, who the heck ever read those, since they’d always be stacks of those things in the garbage. By sheer chance, I was at a dinner tonight and came across this ad that proved to me that I was all wrong about Urdu newspapers. Indeed, they have amazing entertainment value, as you will see in the following scan. This is a half-page ad taken out by someone, either as a joke or as a warning… I think it’s also quite ironically hilarious that it’s in English… in an Urdu newspaper. I’m not sure if this is a joke or not, but it’s great nonetheless. The sad part about it is that it’s probably very close to the truth for some people. But it’s hilarious, nonetheless.

Anyway, mad props to Saqib for helping me with the technical details of file cropping and hosting this.

For my Urdu challenged friends like Shadi Hussein, “rishtas” means marriage prospects =).

In case the image doesn’t load, visit:

Click on the image below to see the full pic:


Touqeer Ahmed (who would qualify as a nice guy in my books if he didn’t keep trying to hype up his lousy MSA) sent me this link, proving once again that Pakistan (that “great” country that is the only country established to be a “Muslim state”) might possibly have cornered the world’s market on jahiliyyah (ignorance) with this:

My favorite line has to be: “I cannot forget the incident when a child of 10 years tumbled into the pond and everyone including his mother were sure of child’s ill fate,” recalled the caretaker. But More Sawab nudged the child with his snout to help him reach the bank of the pond. It was amazing to witness.”

They named the “king of the crocodiles” as “More Sawab”?? I can’t even BEGIN to imagine how ironic that is…

If after this article, any Pakistani or Pakistan-sympathizer (like Hisham) continues to claim that Pakistan is great–or even claims that it ought to be recognized as a legitimate country–well then, I dunno what to say. What can I say that hasn’t already been said?

More Sawab, indeed…


From → Uncategorized

  1. Junaid 314159 (11:59:25 PM): anyway lets seee.Junaid 314159 (12:01:00 AM): my mother ALWAYS gets the urdu papersJunaid 314159 (12:01:10 AM): after she reads themJunaid 314159 (12:01:31 AM): we put them on the floor and and eat dinner/lunch over itJunaid 314159 (12:01:37 AM): like a disposable duster khanJunaid 314159 (12:01:50 AM): so we put them to good use mank r 1 5 6 (12:02:06 AM): hahahahhaak r 1 5 6 (12:02:20 AM): can i post that in the comments?Junaid 314159 (12:02:28 AM): (btw, it’s not downloading the file, maybe you’re right)Junaid 314159 (12:02:32 AM): yeah sureJunaid 314159 (12:02:36 AM): im proudJunaid 314159 (12:02:49 AM): we’ve eaten off of gujurati and urdu newspapers on the floor since i can rememberJunaid 314159 (12:02:58 AM): im proud

  2. Anonymous permalink

    haha…kamran u sure thas not YOUR ad? 😉 u are a nigger and a half…

  3. Anonymous permalink

    cuz kr needs as many eprops as possible so sisters can think he is popular 🙂

  4. Anonymous permalink

    Yeah, 150 million people can collectively be labelled ‘jahil’ because of a few sufi idiots. Must be stupid Indian logic.
    Pakistan may be one screwed up country. Still, I’d rather be a Pakistani than an Indian — only because Hindus and Muslims can’t live together. We don’t need to forget incidents such as the ones in Gujrat (where the state and the Hindu crowds collaborated in committing unspeakable attrocities) and Kashmir (ongoing). All I know is, I’d rather be a Pakistani than live under/with the Islamophobic freaks (Hindus — who by the way are equal opportunity killers [killing Muslims , Sikhs, and Christians]). Pakistan’s messed up. India is hell.

  5. wait a sec, didn’t pakistanis slaughter tons of afghans in the war (and still are) just to please America? At least in India, we haven’t perfected the art of muslims killing muslims…

  6. this is so sad coming from a guy who’s not only educated islamically but is in medical school… if you know how to read urdu… spend some time reading the real pakistani newspapers like Jang, Nawa-i-waqt, Ausaf… that is IF you can read urdu… ur just as closeminded as Americans for saying… oh look… these few guys find crocodiles sacred so the whole country sucks (referring to few muslims committing act of terrorism and everyone getting the blame)… I just hope you weren’t serious when you wrote this…and Mohd, you can’t talk about the actions of the army of a country ruled by a dictator… that doesn’t represent the entire country…

  7. fahad, if you couldnt figure out that i was joking… you need to switch to decaf.
    please dont name your first child More Sawab, ok =).

  8. Baby KamKam!  You are much too precious…for your information, it is I that issued that ad in the newspaper…I want to warn all the girls because I really want to keep all these FOB men to myself so that I may harvest them.  You see, I will have all these fancy men shipped in crude oil containers.  I will then have them shipped to my basement/dungeon (via the precious UPS men), where I will then proceed to break these fancy men, emotionally and physically, using the finest methods of torture developed by the American military, so that they may become my loyal manslaves.
    Yes, I am a Proud to be a Pakistani-American woman. 

  9. That satirical ad is on the money…

  10. u can’t expect me to take anything like that about my beloved country..foot-notes:1. I’m from kashmir so technically i’m not a pakistani2. I think loving your country can cause you to commit shirk…so my apologies… it was too early in the morning to take anything not seriously…and how beautiful it would sound… MORE SAWAB KHAN… wah…

  11. Anonymous permalink

    Let me remind everyone of the fitnah fest that was the PSA eid milan party… To be posted on my xanga sooon…Again Thank you KR for inspiring me for this pakistani bashing post…Pak-istan what a joke lol
    70times the eprops here for the hereafter for you kr

  12. hey… where there are girls… there’s gotta be fitnah… and dont pretend to say you didnt enjoy it…

  13. You got to be kidding me!?! That has to be a joke, are paki’s that dumb and retarded? Its funny how the’doctor’ says he cant speak english well, yet he wrote a very descriptive and detailed account of what he plans to do to the poor lady that accepts his rishta. You desi’s are funny.

  14. I’m gonna ask Maulana Yousuf if it’s halaal for me, an Indian Muslim, to marry a Pakistani Muslim.

  15. Asalaamu alaikum,
    Despite the fact that your post on Pakistani muslims completely offended me (something I’m sure you were aiming to do, so good job) I wanted to say thanks for explaining that ayat to me.  I was looking for a good story, and that’s exactly what you provided.  You seem to be filled with quite a bit of knowledge, masha’Allah. 
    Keep up the good work with the offensive posts.  I truly enjoy them.  You’re quite the comic =)

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