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April 17, 2004

Champaign Road Trip, Part III:


I’ve been down to Champaign 3 times in the past month and people are wondering WHY I’m going down to bufu Champaign this frequently in such a short span of time. For the record, this has NOTHING to do with a girl. One track minded Moslems… mann. Anyway, to proceed:


The reason I went down on Friday was because I was graciously invited by the local masjid to give khutbah. I was getting ready to leave around 10 am when my mom asks me where I’m going. I said I’m going to Champaign for khutbah, and she was like, cool, can I come too? Of course when dear mama makes a request, kr must comply, so kr and dear mama set off on a road trip to Champaign that included mother-son bonding time… quality stuff. I’m a momma’s boy and damn proud of it… the rest of you are all Buc Nasty-like haters, so stop hatin’.


Anyway, got there around 12:30, chilled in the masjid. Gave a broke khutbah, but everyone apparently liked it, alhamdulillah. The funniest thing was right after the prayer during the announcements. Of course, all announcements at masjids have to be done by FOBs (desi or arab), otherwise they wont be entertaining. So after the normal announcements, this one arab uncle comes up and starts telling people that they should stop double parking at the local church. It’s nice enough they let us park there, but please do not double park there, he said. Then he was like:


Emotional Arab Uncle: “Starting next week, for those people who double park at the church, we will take down their license plates and track down whose car it is. Then we will announce their names in the announcements so that everyone knows whose car it is. This way, maybe the rest of you can talk to this person and tell them to stop double parking.”


(Random Arab uncle passes a slip of paper to Emotional Arab Uncle)


EAU: “And we already have our first person here… (reads paper)… his name is Kam… Karman… K-A-R-M-A-N Riaz….”


Congregation: “That’s the khateeb! He’s not double parked!”


EAU: “Oh, I’m sorry, this is the khateeb’s name, Kamran Riaz, he has not double parked.”


Funny stuff.  Later on, went to Chilli’s with the MSA guys and my mom. I was so hesitant to bring my mom along in an outing of like 20+ guys… but my mom was soooo cool with everyone and they were so cool with her. My mom’s always cool with everyone else, just never with me… sigh. She’s telling them stories, they’re telling her stories… it was weird how everyone just chilllled and I was the only one who was uptight and feeling embarassed that my mom was there. Guess it shows you that moms are the coolest people in the world. So that’s the lesson for today boys and girls, let Mother’s Day arrive early this year: go hug and kiss your mother and tell her how awesome she is, cause all mothers are really that damn cool.




pics of kr and dear mama, the most beloved female in the world to me



This conversation occurred on Friday night with one Ahmed Sikander.This might have a shred of truth in it:

sikander r (1:12:09 AM): mashAllah going all the way to u of i to give khutbah…
k r 1 5 6 (1:12:16 AM): hahaha
sikander r (1:12:20 AM): is there any length kamran riaz wont go to for giving a talk
k r 1 5 6 (1:12:21 AM): i saw tariq there
sikander r (1:12:26 AM): yeah he told me
k r 1 5 6 (1:13:30 AM): hahah, dude, what am i, azam hashmi?
sikander r (1:13:57 AM): nooo wayy
sikander r (1:14:10 AM): you have gone way beyond the call of azam hashmi
sikander r (1:14:12 AM): even he has limits
k r 1 5 6 (1:14:29 AM): how you figure that?
k r 1 5 6 (1:14:32 AM): azam goes outta state
k r 1 5 6 (1:14:35 AM): he went to MIT
k r 1 5 6 (1:14:39 AM): indiana
k r 1 5 6 (1:14:47 AM): etc
sikander r (1:14:56 AM): FOR A KHUTBAH????
k r 1 5 6 (1:15:12 AM): brother, khutbahs are actually more important that speeches
k r 1 5 6 (1:15:18 AM): speeches are only like nafl to go to… heheh
sikander r (1:15:25 AM): haha
k r 1 5 6 (1:15:37 AM): jumu’ah, everyone’s gotta go… id like to think of myself as a facilitator to help people with their fard =)
k r 1 5 6 (1:15:43 AM): so kallu, i got your trophy
sikander r (1:15:46 AM): hey man first step to solving an addiction is admitting there is a problem
sikander r (1:15:52 AM): ur addicted to giving talks
sikander r (1:15:56 AM): i think we need an intervention
k r 1 5 6 (1:16:01 AM): hahahaha
sikander r (1:16:05 AM): next time u think ur going for wrestlemania…
sikander r (1:16:10 AM): think twice before walking in that door
k r 1 5 6 (1:16:52 AM): hahaha, youre such a jagbag
sikander r (1:17:01 AM): hahah im a concerned friend
k r 1 5 6 (1:19:43 AM): subhanallah, youre such a great guy
k r 1 5 6 (1:19:53 AM): those dog tags have indeed made you a better person
sikander r (1:20:04 AM): i knowww
sikander r (1:20:12 AM): its awesome cuz people make fun of me
sikander r (1:20:21 AM): and i get all there good deeds cuz i dont forgive them
k r 1 5 6 (1:21:05 AM): hahahahah
k r 1 5 6 (1:21:15 AM): i heard your writing a book too
k r 1 5 6 (1:21:19 AM): milestones, part 2
sikander r (1:22:53 AM): actually i was thinking a more appropriate title would be…
sikander r (1:23:03 AM): just do it…khilafah
sikander r (1:24:50 AM): im out cool guy
sikander r (1:24:58 AM): just for the record…i dont want to give u any hasad
sikander r (1:25:01 AM): mashALlah
sikander r (1:25:04 AM): ur a good guy
sikander r (1:25:11 AM): and a talented individual
sikander r (1:25:20 AM): whos addicted to speaking
sikander r (1:25:20 AM): salam
sikander r is away at 1:26:03 AM.

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